...

so im kinda bummed right?
cause i applied for this job at a cinema. its like the only job i've applied for so far that i've actually wanted. like, you know?
the other jobs have just been jobs. something that could "maybe" pay the bills.
but i liked the idea of working in this cinema.
But I failed my interview.
which sucks
and like i hate that they dont even tell you what went wrong
or why you arent right for the job
they just say
"try again next time"
as if next time wont obviously still be a no
because i'll still be me
and you'll still be you
and i dont know yola
is it my lack of school education?
because i can explain what went wrong there
im not lazy or stupid or a dropout
just disheartened and let down
is it because of how fucking ugly i am
how obvious my spots are
and how fucking dumb my hair is?
was it because of that one question i didn't know the answer to?
or maybe it was because of the bullshit presentation you had me do
even though i knew nothing about the product and had no resources to learn
so i was screwed from the start

or maybe it was a mix of all of them

it is a hard world for the ugly 'girl'

so treat me as one of the boys
take me at my value
and not on my looks
boys dont have to be hot
when girls arent its a 'shame'

and maybe my looks will hold me back my whole life
maybe being female will hold me back my whole life

all i know is that im a little bummed that I didn't get the job

and am just wondering why

so that maybe i can learn what to change

sammie out xxxx