What is the point?
Posted by bronwen wild on Thursday, April 25, 2013
So lately I've been crushed under this weight of how utterly pointless it all is. And I hate how cliche and stupid that sounds. And I dont think i have the patience to explain it well here since my keyboard has 7 letters that dont work. But it's just been occurring to me more and more recently the absurdity of it all. At 14 your told to pick four things that will vastly shape your future. at 16 you then choose one to two of those things and get better at them. At 18 you can either go off doing the thing you chose at 14 or continue to learn about the thing, or start over, which is looked down upon. Now I wont get into how ridiculous I think that whole system is. Because its a long ass rant. So I shall continue.
So then you get this job. And chances are you dont like it, or want it and its not the thing you spent up to 6 years learning about. But there you are probably hating it. Probably hating the people around you. And not earning nearly enough to make any of it seem worth while.
So to fill the space in an already dull life, we accumulate all this Stuff. We fill cupboards and shelves and drawers full of shit. And yeah i do it to. But my. god. It will never stop being just stuff. They will ever mean a thing. It all just meaningless crap. All of it. From my books to my piano. None of it means anything, none of its worth a thing to me. If I lose it It wont faze me. I can just replace it.
And the one consolation prize we are promised from infancy is love.
BUT. Not if you're gay, or trans, or gender queer, or bi gender, or demisexual or bi sexual or pansexual or fucking fat or too thin or depressed or ill or different or classed as ugly or weird.. Because no one loves freaks. And sure The world is more accepting now. But we get told that love is unconditional and beautiful and can happen anywhere anyhow, but because other people, quite often people you dont know arent okay with your love, you dont get to. You have to hide it your a freak. and its wrong so dont do it.
And then we have wars and hate crimes and rape and pedophiles and sexism and racism and so many terrible man made horrors. On top of all the death, disease and inequality.
And money. Myy god how the world revolves around money. And its ridiculous because we have starving people an people living on streets because they have no money, we're in a recession and I just find it ironic, because we made this, we did this to ourselves. We always have and its mental, Because it doesn't have to be there we're fucking monkeys. And ugh I dont how to explain this part very well. I just dont get it. I dont get how the world and society work. It seems stupid to me. But then, what would I know?
I guess, my main point is, its all for nothing. you wont be remembered you wont make a difference. You will live a mediocre life and die. Probably alone, probably unhappy, or even if things are going well you could just die. End. No more. Just like that. You are rendered to naught.
Its just all so, so pointless and I just dont understand it.
There is so much more.
and so many other points. But these were the ones that sprang to mind while writing.
I just dont get it yola. and its killing me.
So then you get this job. And chances are you dont like it, or want it and its not the thing you spent up to 6 years learning about. But there you are probably hating it. Probably hating the people around you. And not earning nearly enough to make any of it seem worth while.
So to fill the space in an already dull life, we accumulate all this Stuff. We fill cupboards and shelves and drawers full of shit. And yeah i do it to. But my. god. It will never stop being just stuff. They will ever mean a thing. It all just meaningless crap. All of it. From my books to my piano. None of it means anything, none of its worth a thing to me. If I lose it It wont faze me. I can just replace it.
And the one consolation prize we are promised from infancy is love.
BUT. Not if you're gay, or trans, or gender queer, or bi gender, or demisexual or bi sexual or pansexual or fucking fat or too thin or depressed or ill or different or classed as ugly or weird.. Because no one loves freaks. And sure The world is more accepting now. But we get told that love is unconditional and beautiful and can happen anywhere anyhow, but because other people, quite often people you dont know arent okay with your love, you dont get to. You have to hide it your a freak. and its wrong so dont do it.
And then we have wars and hate crimes and rape and pedophiles and sexism and racism and so many terrible man made horrors. On top of all the death, disease and inequality.
And money. Myy god how the world revolves around money. And its ridiculous because we have starving people an people living on streets because they have no money, we're in a recession and I just find it ironic, because we made this, we did this to ourselves. We always have and its mental, Because it doesn't have to be there we're fucking monkeys. And ugh I dont how to explain this part very well. I just dont get it. I dont get how the world and society work. It seems stupid to me. But then, what would I know?
I guess, my main point is, its all for nothing. you wont be remembered you wont make a difference. You will live a mediocre life and die. Probably alone, probably unhappy, or even if things are going well you could just die. End. No more. Just like that. You are rendered to naught.
Its just all so, so pointless and I just dont understand it.
There is so much more.
and so many other points. But these were the ones that sprang to mind while writing.
I just dont get it yola. and its killing me.
