Well it started out happy then... It turned out I needed to vent. so whatever... I guess your birthday is a good day to reflect on how far you've come... which is pretty far ^_^
Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, December 9, 2012
Welp im 17
Not a bad day really
Have been watching Kuro most of they day (I forgot how much I love this show, which is weird since the Kuro manga is my favorite series I read)
Many peoples have wished me a happy birthday which is nice
Even my cousins from Aus sent me a card ^_^
Went to watch ROTG yesterday which was fun
Bought quite a bit of stuff I didn't need...
Like more comics and the novel version of Civil War... which I dont want to read because my feels.... they will die... I've seen the comics this will kill me.... WHY DID I BUY THIS IT WILL ONLY HURT ME
My cake is huge though :3
and I has monster and Milka ^_^
Got a message from sianie saying happy birthday which was weird... But eh....
Theres something I dont know about anymore
Cause like... She waas the on who stoped taalking to me purly because she didn't even bother to ask my side of why I didn't go to folly farm with her.. but ended up going to Carms.... which was pretty simple
I asked my dad for money to go with her..... HE FLIPPED OUT! like threatened to kick m out for being selfish and a money grabbing bitch... And so I told her I couldn't go... which was all true... Then on the morning of that.. saturday (I think it was a saturday anyway) that we were meant to go, he THREW in my face like £20 and drove away... And cause I wanted to get the fuck out the house Nick asked if I wanted to meet up in carms.... So I went . And spent the fuck out of that money because I didn't fucking want it. It was guilt money, it was dirty tainted horrible money that he would later use to blackmail me with... so I spent it.
But she never asked, just assumed. Because god for fucking bid anyone else can ever be going through a hard time while she is.
My life was falling apart back then... I didn't know if I'd have a home most nights because of how often my dad would start screaming at me while drunk throwing all kinds of abuse at me and threatening to throw me out or telling me when Probate came back that he was going to sue my brother and I for every penny.
MY OWN FATHER
But that didn't matter.
It didn't matter that I was still hurting from the brake up, it didn't matter that my mum had died and that I was a mess.
I was scared and alone and NO.ONE was fucking there for me
But yet here I am.
Fixed
And fucking fighting
With no one to hold my hand
And no one to tell but a fucking website that I was having a tough day
But thats fine, because now I have nothing holding me to this place
and I can be fucking proud of me for getting better and chasing my dream as hard as I can
Because Im going to do it
I dont care how late I am to starting this
I will be a costume designer
And my lack of artistic skills will never inhibit my sewing because I wont fucking let it
And most of all
I
Am
Going
To
Make
My
Mother
Proud.
Sam rant over.
Happy birthday me
xxxx
Not a bad day really
Have been watching Kuro most of they day (I forgot how much I love this show, which is weird since the Kuro manga is my favorite series I read)
Many peoples have wished me a happy birthday which is nice
Even my cousins from Aus sent me a card ^_^
Went to watch ROTG yesterday which was fun
Bought quite a bit of stuff I didn't need...
Like more comics and the novel version of Civil War... which I dont want to read because my feels.... they will die... I've seen the comics this will kill me.... WHY DID I BUY THIS IT WILL ONLY HURT ME
My cake is huge though :3
and I has monster and Milka ^_^
Got a message from sianie saying happy birthday which was weird... But eh....
Theres something I dont know about anymore
Cause like... She waas the on who stoped taalking to me purly because she didn't even bother to ask my side of why I didn't go to folly farm with her.. but ended up going to Carms.... which was pretty simple
I asked my dad for money to go with her..... HE FLIPPED OUT! like threatened to kick m out for being selfish and a money grabbing bitch... And so I told her I couldn't go... which was all true... Then on the morning of that.. saturday (I think it was a saturday anyway) that we were meant to go, he THREW in my face like £20 and drove away... And cause I wanted to get the fuck out the house Nick asked if I wanted to meet up in carms.... So I went . And spent the fuck out of that money because I didn't fucking want it. It was guilt money, it was dirty tainted horrible money that he would later use to blackmail me with... so I spent it.
But she never asked, just assumed. Because god for fucking bid anyone else can ever be going through a hard time while she is.
My life was falling apart back then... I didn't know if I'd have a home most nights because of how often my dad would start screaming at me while drunk throwing all kinds of abuse at me and threatening to throw me out or telling me when Probate came back that he was going to sue my brother and I for every penny.
MY OWN FATHER
But that didn't matter.
It didn't matter that I was still hurting from the brake up, it didn't matter that my mum had died and that I was a mess.
I was scared and alone and NO.ONE was fucking there for me
But yet here I am.
Fixed
And fucking fighting
With no one to hold my hand
And no one to tell but a fucking website that I was having a tough day
But thats fine, because now I have nothing holding me to this place
and I can be fucking proud of me for getting better and chasing my dream as hard as I can
Because Im going to do it
I dont care how late I am to starting this
I will be a costume designer
And my lack of artistic skills will never inhibit my sewing because I wont fucking let it
And most of all
I
Am
Going
To
Make
My
Mother
Proud.
Sam rant over.
Happy birthday me
xxxx
