This is insanely long! Sorry xD
Posted by bronwen wild on Friday, August 17, 2012
Hello
so this is a post about a lot of things
I have a feeling its going to be quite long
And im tired as balls so it probably wont be coherent at all
but yeah
on with the rambling
First off
I was sat in the car and thought of quite a good androgynous name I like
Its really common but I think thats also why I like it
But yeah
Sam
I like that name
and its good because if i look like a girl one day its a girls name
if I look like a boy another
Boys name
So yeah, I mean i dont have the balls to ask anyone to call me by a different name or really tell anyone why
especially with what point two brings me on to saying
With this whole Not feeling female bull
I have decided that instead of being trans and saying im trans and causing myself so much fucking mind fuck and grief
Being Androgynous makes a lot more sense
For one
Having a lack of gender feels a lot more natural
And with that unless I do actually ask people to use a different name
to them I'll just be dressing a little differently sometimes
Im not just using it as a cowards way out of telling people :3 honest
I think I mostly decided on this because I'm not 18 untill next december which is a fair while away
So instead of torturing myself with all the stress and hardship that comes with being an outed trans or even not being outed but just being trans
I'd just be happy and do whatever. But if someone asked or if I get up the balls yeah ima say im androgynous
And depending on how shit goes one day maybe I'll get up the balls to ask people to not call me bryony
I fucking hate the name
It doesn't feel like my name at all
Heh ah if only I had someone to help with names
Cause I know its a thing I need to do
But it'd be nice just to have someone there to say
Yeah, that suites you
or NO! Bad name is bad!
But on a happier note point three kiddies!
Okay so this is weird for me to type
I
Have
A
Future
I can see it
I see myself living past this year
And I have a plan!
How fucking cool is that?
I'm going to go to college
Ima learn to sew and make my own clothes
Get fit/thin at least anyway
And in december ima learn to drive and I even have a car (padi has said the panda can be mine since he'll be in swansea anyways)
Once I learn to drive I can get a job
Once I've had a job for a while I can move out
And then I'll have hopefully two more years of college (oh yes thats my plan for next year! my long term plan is;
Once I've finished college
I'll e qualified out the ass
I could be management,, head chef, whatever!
So then I'll probably go work for someone for a year/ two years
And by then I'm really fucking hoping we'll have sold Llain
And if we have
I'm going to open my own business
I haven't decided what
Either a Cafe or a restaurant I think
But yeah
Thats my 5 year plan
So hopefully by the time im 21 I should have my life in place
Because fucking hell
I could actually do this
And this isn't like the other times when I've hyped myself up
This is legit if I stick to it im set for life
and in only three years of college.
Things look hopeful! MY GOD!
Im pretty happy with who I am!
I have a future I can see!
Im happy ish!
Things are good
and its mad!
but woo!
Sorry I said this would end up being really long
Night yoollaa :3
so this is a post about a lot of things
I have a feeling its going to be quite long
And im tired as balls so it probably wont be coherent at all
but yeah
on with the rambling
First off
I was sat in the car and thought of quite a good androgynous name I like
Its really common but I think thats also why I like it
But yeah
Sam
I like that name
and its good because if i look like a girl one day its a girls name
if I look like a boy another
Boys name
So yeah, I mean i dont have the balls to ask anyone to call me by a different name or really tell anyone why
especially with what point two brings me on to saying
With this whole Not feeling female bull
I have decided that instead of being trans and saying im trans and causing myself so much fucking mind fuck and grief
Being Androgynous makes a lot more sense
For one
Having a lack of gender feels a lot more natural
And with that unless I do actually ask people to use a different name
to them I'll just be dressing a little differently sometimes
Im not just using it as a cowards way out of telling people :3 honest
I think I mostly decided on this because I'm not 18 untill next december which is a fair while away
So instead of torturing myself with all the stress and hardship that comes with being an outed trans or even not being outed but just being trans
I'd just be happy and do whatever. But if someone asked or if I get up the balls yeah ima say im androgynous
And depending on how shit goes one day maybe I'll get up the balls to ask people to not call me bryony
I fucking hate the name
It doesn't feel like my name at all
Heh ah if only I had someone to help with names
Cause I know its a thing I need to do
But it'd be nice just to have someone there to say
Yeah, that suites you
or NO! Bad name is bad!
But on a happier note point three kiddies!
Okay so this is weird for me to type
I
Have
A
Future
I can see it
I see myself living past this year
And I have a plan!
How fucking cool is that?
I'm going to go to college
Ima learn to sew and make my own clothes
Get fit/thin at least anyway
And in december ima learn to drive and I even have a car (padi has said the panda can be mine since he'll be in swansea anyways)
Once I learn to drive I can get a job
Once I've had a job for a while I can move out
And then I'll have hopefully two more years of college (oh yes thats my plan for next year! my long term plan is;
Once I've finished college
I'll e qualified out the ass
I could be management,, head chef, whatever!
So then I'll probably go work for someone for a year/ two years
And by then I'm really fucking hoping we'll have sold Llain
And if we have
I'm going to open my own business
I haven't decided what
Either a Cafe or a restaurant I think
But yeah
Thats my 5 year plan
So hopefully by the time im 21 I should have my life in place
Because fucking hell
I could actually do this
And this isn't like the other times when I've hyped myself up
This is legit if I stick to it im set for life
and in only three years of college.
Things look hopeful! MY GOD!
Im pretty happy with who I am!
I have a future I can see!
Im happy ish!
Things are good
and its mad!
but woo!
Sorry I said this would end up being really long
Night yoollaa :3
