hey, so I guess lately I've been feeling kinda alone "/ .. And not because of yesterdays oh so hilarious dumpage or any crap like that. Its just a strange feeling deep down. I can't explain it. And I dont know why its there.. But just sometimes I'll be sat doing whatever, and then my head'll go "I feel alone..." And the rest of me will go "yeah.."(what? shut up I can have a conversation with myself if i like) And then im just sat there... feeling alone. But its kinda always there. Like I'll be watching something, or talking to someone..or if you can believe it, just sat in my room by myself, and I'll just start to want to cry. And what a fucking stupid thing to get upset about? I know it is. And im not really alone if I think about it. I have some pretty awesome people in my life.
But the suckish part is, that it drags me to think about other things. And I try very hard to not think about them. Its how I'm doing so well at the moment. (which I am, -aside from the other day*cough*- And im quite proud) But yeah. All these thoughts spring into my mind... And when you say them out loud they sound petty and stupid. and I feel kinda dumb for letting them get to me.. But... I dont know if this'll make sense or if you'll understand... but they have like other deeper meanings and thoughts attached, that are literally feelings, that hurt, and drive me crazy and make my stomach turn. but no matter how hard you try you cant even explain them to yourself let alone anyone else. So I just end up sounding like a dick saying. I feel alone. Cause i know as well as anyone how fucking pathetic that sounds :3
Its kinda like when everything is wrong, but you have no idea why its wrong or what everything consists of.
If any of that made sense.....
I'm sorry...this is literally me letting my brain talk before thinking about what im writing so this could make no sense at all.But I needed to tell something and here is a good place for that... Well it was. now people have started reading here again its less good :3 But hey ho, you bring my whiny rambling crap upon yourself if you actually do read here :3
Nighty night yola. xx