purly for my sanity
Posted by bronwen wild on Monday, June 4, 2012
morning yola. Im not sad or anything. I just... well I haven't really talked to anyone but myself in days. And I dont know how it is for other people... but after having a three hour conversation with yourself, is One, a little worrying :3 and two you get a bit bored of hearing your own voice.
But yeah, between reading and not having anyone to talk to me is making me mad. Like back when we were in Aus. Which I dont like cause that makes me think of then, which make me remember what time of year it is, which makes me hate myself, and then I want to cry.. but cant.
Im not even lonely anymore.
Im just alone.
I hardly ever speak out loud
I hardly ever talk to anyone online anymore even
But the part that gets me is that its really not through choice this time.
I'm trying to talk to people, to get out the house...
But either they never reply... the conversation doesn't last ...or they turn me down.
Not to mention my RAPIDLY decreasing number of friends "/
And Im not whining yola.
Im not
Because im not sad
Or upset about it
I dont hold it against any of them
Its just a thing thats happening
I wish it wasn't
but ho hum
I guess I really just miss people.
people make me act happier and while im with them that happier me that they see sort of reminds the rest of me to cheer the fuck up
I mean... I laughed earlier and the sound startled me.
but whatever I'm tired... and what im reading is really good.
i'll probably be back....
Im in suck a weird mood yola... and this has cleared my head a bit... I feel more me like... I shall have to keep writing here every so often...
Byes
But yeah, between reading and not having anyone to talk to me is making me mad. Like back when we were in Aus. Which I dont like cause that makes me think of then, which make me remember what time of year it is, which makes me hate myself, and then I want to cry.. but cant.
Im not even lonely anymore.
Im just alone.
I hardly ever speak out loud
I hardly ever talk to anyone online anymore even
But the part that gets me is that its really not through choice this time.
I'm trying to talk to people, to get out the house...
But either they never reply... the conversation doesn't last ...or they turn me down.
Not to mention my RAPIDLY decreasing number of friends "/
And Im not whining yola.
Im not
Because im not sad
Or upset about it
I dont hold it against any of them
Its just a thing thats happening
I wish it wasn't
but ho hum
I guess I really just miss people.
people make me act happier and while im with them that happier me that they see sort of reminds the rest of me to cheer the fuck up
I mean... I laughed earlier and the sound startled me.
but whatever I'm tired... and what im reading is really good.
i'll probably be back....
Im in suck a weird mood yola... and this has cleared my head a bit... I feel more me like... I shall have to keep writing here every so often...
Byes
