.

March 10, 2013
-curls into a ball-

I .... I d.... Im sorry

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

Happy mammy's day

March 10, 2013
happy mothers day mammy

I miss you

Its weird, its been happening more recently,

You know, forgetting your not here... I mean its not often by any means.... just more than never

I still remember the first time it happened properly
I was round nicks, I think it was around Christmas time or something and it was getting late and all of a sudden a had this thought of "Shit I should ring mum to let her know where I am/ whats happening"
And then it hit me, and it was one of those moments where you trul...
Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

.

March 9, 2013
Seriously who the fuck are you? Twice in one week? I'm trying to fall apart here, I dont need an audience. 

Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

dear life

March 9, 2013
I'm sorry

I dont think we're going to keep fighting this much longer

I'm trying

but its so hard

how did it all go so wrong

goodnight

Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

well this is fun

March 7, 2013
pleasecanthisstopnowohgodifeellikeimgoingtodiehowdidilivewiththisbefore???

im so un okay its not even funny

i dont know what to do

I have no one who'd care

I dont know what to do

help me please

I dont want to want to die anymore

imgoingnowohgodpleasegoawayhowdoImakeitstop?ithurtstobreath

Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

im really not okay

March 3, 2013
and im really fucking alone




oh well I guess I'll fall asleep listening to lie again, Yong-Wha and Jong-hyun's voices make me feel better




ahahaha spiraling depression and increasing belly pain/anxiety!


*edit* again with the person here yesterday.... do i know you? and could you please leave if I do...***

Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

Can I die now?

February 17, 2013
Im feeling so fucking numb and just want to be drunk
But if I drink too much of it too quickly padi'll notice it's gone

Im glad no one reads here anymore

it means no one can see me falling apart
or rather, falling back into how i used to be

back before I met nick and teffie

Back before i was stupid enough to let down my walls
which keep me so very very safe

Im a little drunk right now so im going to go before I start whining

My belly is beginning to hurt again

Wish me luck tomorrow

Night yola
Th...
Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

...

February 2, 2013
I fucked up. And im not sorry.

My shoulder kinda hurts though
Man
Things have gone to hell so quickly

These are pretty deep...

...

goodnight yola

Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

help, mummy, help

January 23, 2013
me and dad fought again tonight
this is the worst one
I dont know what'll happen now
He told me to leave
And that I wont inherit a thing from him
he told me im a failiure and that im deluded like mum

I thought he was going to batter me
I was beyond caring
and beyond scared
he was so drunk

oh god what am I going to do

I want my mummy
And I want to get away from here
STUPID NO COLLEGE

im so scared right now
I want my mummy
mummy
why the fuck are you not here
i need you
or a hug
but i have no one to talk...
Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

well fuck

January 17, 2013
... so uh... even though no one reads here anymore I still feel stupid writing this...

See

uh

Yeah

uh
may be slighly, maybe a little
falling
for ...
uh
Jake
Uh
again
maybe
uh
a little

oopps
welp
im fucked
how're you xD


well shit

oh well

its not like im going to a convention with him where i'll... like i always do around him loose my sense of reason....
ooops
fuck
pnhlWKEKGF'LL#kfl'k
stupid
stupid
stupid

bad Sammie
no

fuck



Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

yh;fhg

January 13, 2013
I miss my mummy
I need her
im so fucking scared
I need her I need her I need her
What if it all fucks up?
What if im not good enough?
I need a cwtch
and her smile
And the way she'd know what to do or say to make things okay again
i nee you
where are you?


Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

If I admit I miss you

January 6, 2013
Would you come back?












Who am I kidding?

You'd have never stayed

Fuck.

Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

paiiiinnnnn

January 3, 2013
My back hurts my neck hurts and my stomach hurts so much I cried earlier.
I am not happy T_T
But.. I will say that dancing at 4 am to Kpop in fucking bright moonlight is so. much. fun!
And I wish my neck didn''t hurt so much and I could go outside again tonight, since it would do my back good to go for a walk again :3
But no :( I can hardly move... Hah speaking of pain headache just kicked in.
I wish i could do a textile course already, instead of IT... I mean its an okay course... but i have NO...
Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

paiiiinnnnn

January 3, 2013
My back hurts my neck hurts and my stomach hurts so much I cried earlier.
I am not happy T_T
But.. I will say that dancing at 4 am to Kpop in fucking bright moonlight is so. much. fun!
And I wish my neck didn''t hurt so much and I could go outside again tonight, since it would do my back good to go for a walk again :3
But no :( I can hardly move... Hah speaking of pain headache just kicked in.
I wish i could do a textile course already, instead of IT... I mean its an okay course... but i have NO...
Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

Happy new year

January 1, 2013
well then..
things I have learned this year
Love sucks
Friends are shit
People change so god damn much so quickly
I have the power to fix me

all in all this year has been great.

think back, if you will to this night a year ago...

I was a few cm's and a packet of pills away from never seeing 2012

But it turned out to be a damn important year.

I got out of my depression
I Went back to college
But most importantly I found me

Which, is you know... pretty cool...

I found cosplay, and sewing and nerdiness...
Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

wesrftyupuyugcf79zexcfyv[y99ct9s5-ct[99[

December 27, 2012
you know what sucks about reading fluff and cute lovey things
Remembering when it was said to you
Not so much missing who said it But the feeling when it was
Cause god damn I miss it
And I know I have no hope of finding anything close to it again
Not that I deserve to after hurting daisy
God im such a fucking cunt

Fuck
God
know anyone who wouldn't be freaked out and run for their lives if they heard
Hi Im Sam my real name is bryony but it actually makes my skin crawl to say it and requires physic...
Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

welp christmas

December 25, 2012
Hey yola
Merry christmas
I didnt get much as ever :L
But padi gave me some nice things
And Uncle Chaz gave me £50 ^_^
Bleh
I hate christmas
I had too laugh
dad offered to buy me vodka
And i though "Meh why the fuck not"
And I opened it (Yeah it counted as a christmas present xD)
Its so fucking cheep it doesn't even have a fucking brand :3
I can feel the love xD

Was weird though
seeing uncle john
He's a good bloke
But..
Eh
Hes funny though ...well I say funny...
Lets just say when he says he'd kil...
Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

fucking hell

December 24, 2012
anxiety sucks
and it hurts
It makes me feel sick and scared all the time
And I have no clue what triggers it
Which is what sucks the most
being crazy but having no idea why
And its getting bad
Like everything triggers it
I think it always was there
but I doont know
The depression numbed it oout
And now its gone im left an anxious mess
And no one wants to help
oor caan help
They just tell yu you're crazy and send you away
I hate it I hate it I hate it
Man
I just
Im 17 and im so fucked up if peopl...
Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

kill me

December 13, 2012
Hello yola
God
there are so many good things I could be talking to you aabout
But thanks to a stupid email from college
I would like to talk to you about anxiety.
You see, I have missed... like three thursdays since the start of term.. which is too many according to marion and thats fine, but it bugged me she felt she needed to send an email instead of talking to me
Mostly because the reason i've missed all of the days i have this year have been due to waking up aand just not being able to faac...
Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 

Well it started out happy then... It turned out I needed to vent. so whatever... I guess your birthday is a good day to reflect on how far you've come... which is pretty far ^_^

December 9, 2012
Welp im 17
Not a bad day really
Have been watching Kuro most of they day (I forgot how much I love this show, which is weird since the Kuro manga is my favorite series I read)
Many peoples have wished me a happy birthday which is nice
Even my cousins from Aus sent me a card ^_^
Went to watch ROTG yesterday which was fun
Bought quite a bit of stuff I didn't need...
Like more comics and the novel version of Civil War... which I dont want to read because my feels.... they will die... I've seen the ...
Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

 
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