A happy yola! A happy!

May 25, 2012
Hey yola.
So I had a really good day yesterday...and I thought I should tell you since s rarely do I have a day this epic :3
So I went into town to meet up with Jess and Sionie after their physics exam. And emily ended up coming too ^_^
And we all just chilled in the park which was cool.... just haging around with probably three of my best friends :3
And Then Em had to go to her English Exam so was jut me Jess and Sioned... And we didn't really do much to be fair. sat at a bench until her dad texted and said she had to go home... Sionie was staying in town till 4 (or whenever the fuck it was Tristan got off work...So I said I'd stay in town and keep her company...
Ahaha we're fucking mental man... we went down and sat by the river (by the castle) And talked about how if I move to Aber her and Jess need to come and visit ALL the time... and Like that we should have an epic summer full of doing things ... And well we just talked... for hours :3 A lot about Anime I seem to recall...
And we had a water fight .... Haha that was fun... scaring old people and then deciding it would be a better idea to go down to the river by the.... well down by that part of the river :3 And we spent ages there... even after Tristan had finished work cause he wanted to go home and shower :3
And then we ended up going to the beach with Tristan David and Elen (i dont know how to spell her name.....) I dont think I was invited so much and Sioned decided I was coming... But ahh well... was entertaining all the same... Some fucking dog who seemed to have no owner decided that the foot ball was his new toy and Trist and David ended up chasing it around the beach for fucking ages.
Was just a nice day in teh sun with friends.... and the mad time with sioned made it epic... but I dont think I could put that into words ehehe :3
So yes, I am a happy.. was a nice day and I am now going to re blonde my hair... ^_^ Everything is good ^_^ Aside from my sunburn :3
Byess ^^_^
 

Im a whiny ho when in pain ahaha

May 23, 2012
Honestly I will pay good effing money to anyone who can stop my belly from hurting for like maybe an hour?
I have been in agony for three days...each day getting slowly worse... Its not been this bad in ages T_T Well apart from that month and last month :3 But you know, agony is agony.. and I'd like to be able to move and think and breath and not want to cry from pain sometime soon please. Cause I've had this for a year and a half and I've been told its this and its that...and guess what turn...
Continue reading...
 

One tree hill

May 21, 2012
Hey yola. So tonight the last ever fist airing of an episode of One Tree Hill ended. Thats 9 seasons...Nine years of one TV show. And no it wasn't the greatest show. But I realized something while watching it. Its gotten me through my life.
From just giving me one hour, once a week to just forget who I was, and ignore all the hate and shouting around me. To the first Christmas after the rents split. Granny bought me season one and two. And I sat about a foot from the tv in the lounge downstai...
Continue reading...
 

Ehehe OMG so deep :3 or... Cool story bro needs more dragons and shit :3

May 21, 2012
*** Right so I just wrote this... and even to start with I didnt have anything planned for this so its just me babbling... Im not upset or anything... its just me mumbling about John Green, forgiving people and le family... Its nothing important. It was more to kill time than anything else :3 no really.... Its random "OMG SO DEEP" shit...  I have my emo girl at three am brain on... so its all "deep" and shit ahaha :3 seriously you have been fair warned now... if you read it and come away goin...
Continue reading...
 

I fucking hate my family

May 18, 2012
Hey yola. Tonight I was reminded of why I will never ever give in to what people say and let alcohol in. Tonight I was reminded of how it ruins lives and destroyed my family. Thats right kids, me and dad talked. Which was a shame since for the past few days we'd been getting along really well.. But of course this had to happen. I was almost starting to rethink my stand on drink. Even after the joys of what happened in cornwall.
But of course, it started out fine, we were just talking... And h...
Continue reading...
 

Shut the fuck up me and quit being so whiny

May 14, 2012
Dear brain quit telling me its a good idea to watch old films or chick flick type films or to read John Green. Cause its not. And no matter how many times I read AAOK or paper towns its not going to change the way things are. Its just going to make me sad.
God I dont even have anything to be sad about these days
what the fuck is wrong is me?
But yet still here I am, feeling sorry for myself
And I don't have a reason anymore
My life is sorting itself out
just shut the fuck up me
so things this ye...
Continue reading...
 

This is what happens when I let my brain do the talking :L

May 13, 2012
I dont care if it makes me sound like a 5 year old. I want my mammy and cwtchs. Not sure why. But I just sat and thought..." I am tired, in pain and alone. I would quite like some cwtchs and my mammy"
Im even sad or anything. I mean I've had a pretty awesome day to be honest. Just messing about with the best friend I've ever had. Like no matter how crap I've been the past two years Jess has stuck by me, and like doesn't mind at all. And I love her for it. I think if i ever properly lost Jessi...
Continue reading...
 

Happy happy fucking happy xD

May 11, 2012
I dont want to go to the cinema tomorrow.
I want to crawl in a hole and cry. Dieing is also in the table.
I feel like crap and dont know what to do with myself. stuck somewhere between crying and numb. God I was doing so fucking well a few weeks ago, whats gone wrong here?
Fuck it, im bored of people seeing me sad. From now on happy me. Im going to be thin and happy by summer. Plan? I think yes. Well I'll already be happy, but ya know the thin thing will take a few weeks :3
So yeah :) HAPPY HA...
Continue reading...
 

Happy post woo!!

May 10, 2012
Hey yola :3
So today I went to prom :L Its funny actually... it was kinda better than I thought it would be, and I danced... actually danced! Bahaha Oh and I wore a dress and it was fun. But OH MY GOSH DAISY LOOKED SO PRETTY!!!! It was amazing!!!! And so did everyone else but daisy just sdfghkl.khn bgvcfghukhvbhb  PRETTY!!!!!! Was nice.. for an evening everyone was back together (apart from sionie who spent most of the night with Tristan) Ima miss those guys when I leave for good... cause I k...
Continue reading...
 

An early morning letter to mammy

May 8, 2012
Dear Mammy.
Yesterday would have been your 47th birthday. And I can't help feeling that the fact that its this week. Exactly one week before my first exam should be, and four days before 'prom'. That its as if the world is trying to remind me how you're never going to be there for the important moments in my life. And I hate that. And I hate Padi for the fact that he got to be 21 when you died. He'd been to school, gone to prom, done his a levels and gone to uni, had a car bought for him and ...
Continue reading...
 

Cake or death? Death please.

May 6, 2012
Happy birthday mam... So todays started well...
Me and padi downstairs talking, being all happy... But my ribbons had fallen down and he saw my arms... And cause he brilliant like that he just gets angry at me. And shouts telling me how stupid I am. Thanks patsi...
Like I need reminding that im a stupid fuckup.
Well this fuckup is just gonna sit here crying for a hole day... So i'll probably be back here later or something...
Bye for now
please kill me.

Edit****
Hey so I went back down to get...
Continue reading...
 

I love how my brain just tends to ramble on and on :3

May 5, 2012
BLLLAARRRGGGLE! annd stuff..... My belly is all stabby and hurty and I dont like it T_T And im bored of being at home T_T But due to my massive lack of friend..or at least friends who are wiling to go to carms or somewhere else (cause for some reason a lot of them would rather spend a day In Emlyn... T_T) I am stuck at home. And I dont even know if im supposed to be doing my exams cause no ones told me anything... and my belly was an asshole so I coudln't go to school this week.. well no, I c...
Continue reading...
 

some 1 am feelings for you :3

May 1, 2012
hey, so I guess lately I've been feeling kinda alone "/ .. And not because of yesterdays oh so hilarious dumpage or any crap like that. Its just a strange feeling deep down. I can't explain it. And I dont know why its there.. But just sometimes I'll be sat doing whatever, and then my head'll go "I feel alone..." And the rest of me will go "yeah.."(what? shut up I can have a conversation with myself if i like) And then im just sat there... feeling alone. But its kinda always there. Like I'll b...
Continue reading...
 

so today and stuff

April 30, 2012
soup yola. So i have no new injuries. (ways for me :3) I have no boyfriend! (huzzah! although it took a while to get rid of the bastard... more on that later) I've kinda been eating :3 And Some college shizz came in the post today.
So yeah.... Im going to take today as an alright day. If my belly hadnt hurt and I'd have been able to get the fugg outa the house. things would be pretty cool. Oh and if I hadn't seen dad.. lawd he's getting worse... Dont even think he can stand being in the same ...
Continue reading...
 

Oh fuck everything T_T

April 29, 2012
Dear depression T_T Kindly fuck off with making me make bad decisions. And dear Jake. FUCK OFF ITS BEEN TWO WEEKS! Its people like you that make the "teen love" stereotype true. Long distance doesn't bother me. But you do. FUUUUUUUU I have enough stress without having to worry about the fact that I REALLY want to dump you but because you're a clingy motherfucker I'll feel too awful. Its been two weeks. Thats not even enough time to get to know each other properly. I cant do it. I cant. I cant...
Continue reading...
 

Welp, my day was day like :3

April 29, 2012
Welp today was fun :3 well actually the part with sian was pretty cool! Had a nice day wondering round with her. Thingss are back like they were before everything went wrong. Well everything kinda is back like that to be fair.... But yeah... S'been an interesting day... Been ignored by the so called boyfriend... Fessed up to him about my being a manic depressive see :3 I dont think he took it well :L But yeah so theres that....and I saw Nick again today.... Which was weird yola...Cause it was...
Continue reading...
 

Enough. I've had enough.

April 28, 2012
Dear yola. So theres thing thing. Things have been fucking shit recently. But I still havent cut. its been weeks. And things really have been pretty shit on the scale of how much I think about offing myself daily. But I've kept it under controle with loud music  and pretending it'll be okay. But not today. I'm tired of hurting.
I have 8 razorblades.
 Tonight's gonna be fun. :)
Im sorry. But its been sat by me bed for days... and I dont care anymore. No skirts for me this summer.
Bye yola. Im sor...
Continue reading...
 

So a massive paragraph of whiny, then some actually important stuff :3

April 26, 2012
Okay so this is whiny and I know it. But its my last year in school (yeah i've actually decided to go to college as of last night xD) And since I have actually been asked to prom (even if it a "will you go so i dont end up being a loner" type thing, it still counts) And you know, I thought, crazily that my dad wouldnt mind giving a tenner for tickets. (they're 20 but padi was fine about lending me a tenner) Cause I wanted to be able to go to prom, but to also be able to see sianie on saturday...
Continue reading...
 

And its not even may yet :3

April 26, 2012
Okay so maybe im not as okay as I thought.

Continue reading...
 

TWLOHA <3

April 26, 2012
Okay so yola's being a whore and wont let me post what I want to post which is this http://www.twloha.com/vision/story/ So Instead of reading some crap I've posted go read that.
Its been nearly I year (or there abouts) Since I found TWLOHA and i love them and everything they do.
and after reading this earlier I realized really for the first time how much better I am compared to last year.
but to me back then, these words were the only things that meant anything for a long time. And now look at...
Continue reading...
 
 
 
Make a Free Website with Yola.