A depressed girls pursuit of happiness

:)

June 20, 2012

Goan to Jessies house ^_^ I am a happy bean right now. ^_^
Sorry I had a happy and I have decided that ima write them down no matter how small.
Happy ^_^ buh byes x

Oh yeah and Nick if you read this, Text if you need me, kays?

Posted by bronwen wild.

so happpyy right now ... like SO HAPPY!

June 19, 2012

I AM A GIANT BALL OF HAPPY OMFG SO MUCH HAPPY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
TRINFACE IS COMING HOMEEEE!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (okay so its like for a day but still) And we're gona go round sams house and its gonna be eppppiiiiiccccc ahhhh best thing to wake up to ever! (yes
ye I did fall back to sleep, dont judge me I nev...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

hey yola

June 18, 2012

ever cared about someone so much it hurt?
Because it sucks.

**unrelated but equally short**
It occurs to me how utterly fucked up I am sometimes, this is one of those times.

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Posted by bronwen wild.

T_T

June 16, 2012

well it wasnt too awful... Im freezing and soaked and sad as fuck, but its not as bad as I thought it was going to be
Im mostly upset due to what me and Geoff talked about in the car once we were back.... I stupidly mentioned my lack of friends and never being able to/wanting to leave the house.... and of course my emoness .... so he spent a FOREVER telling me I need new friends, and need to go out, and need to ignore my anxiety, and I should go to the bunch and hang out with the young people ...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

Fucking Llanllwni mountain I hate that fucking place

June 15, 2012

I dont wanna go... Yola... I cant go.... I mean I'll be coming home to an empty house... so there'll be no one to notice ANYTHING... and no need for me to stay quiet and in my room....
But I can't let Geoff down
He hasnt been up there yet
and he needs to go see her
they were in love for f's sake
Shes been gone a year and a half...
Its time he went
I cant let him down
But im so fucking scared
What do I do?

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Posted by bronwen wild.

^_^

June 14, 2012

YOLA YOLA YOLA!!!! HAPPY THERE ARE HAPPY THINGS!!!
I GOT INTO COLLEGE!!! AND ITS NOT ABER !!!! WOOOOOOOOOO :D
GOING TO DO CATERING!!!
AND
AND
MY HAPPY FROM YESTERDAY!!
I have friends and they are the best people ever!
And Thanks to Jades worrying, Dans mocking and Adams hugs yesterday was fucking awesome ^_^
So im HAPPYYYYYYY! :D

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Posted by bronwen wild.

Mother fucking belly pain

June 13, 2012

Fucking hell someone please make my belly stop hurting T_T THIS IS HORRIBLE!!!!! FYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
I have no fucking clue what to do with myself.... not that I can do anything cause even typing hurts! T_T ffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu (more chearfull post to come ^_^)

Prone to panic attacks... What helps my belly more than anything else.... hyperventilation.... which then causes yet another panic attack... Im fucked arent I? T_T

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Posted by bronwen wild.

I hate everything

June 12, 2012

Morning yola...
So I guess everythings been a bit shite recently... a lot for reasons already covered... but some for reasons im not quite sure of yet...
but today sucked ahaha.... I sucked in my exam, what with my dislexia and dyscalcula playing up....and I had my theory of having no friends proved a little bit further....
I'm loving naruto at the moment :3 and of course watching Twin and Nova.... its pretty sad when I realize they're pretty much the only thing making me happy these days ahah...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

The past two and a alf hours....

June 8, 2012

Hey yola.
I came here to write...
But I cant... I dont know what to say

*two hours of being pathetic...*

Welp, stopped crying now... like two hours later... so I think im good now ahaha :3
im not hungry at all but i fancy some food... so might try and see if theres any I want... but I've eaten today so its all good either way :3
Nighty night yola....

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Posted by bronwen wild.

sigh

June 7, 2012

words cannot describe how much of a bad mood im in.
Not even sure of the exact reason
Am just aware that EVERYTHING is pissing me the fuck off today.
oh joy more people talking to me
Excuse me while I go and comfort eat till I die.

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Posted by bronwen wild.

Its funny cause no one is ever going to read this :3

June 5, 2012

You know what?
Fuck it
Fuck this
I tried so fucking hard with every single god damned one of you
I tired so hard to make you happy, to be there for you, to see past my problems as best I could so that they didnt cloud my judgment or make you feel bad/down
When you all started to drift away I did all I could to try and get you back, to get you to stay
Some may argue that I didnt do much...
But its scary... talking to anyone... even my best friends. and so saying hey to you .. while it doesn't seem yo...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

^_^

June 4, 2012

Its mental yola... three days of not feeling alive...then one half hour nap and maybe a two minute chat with Sioned and Im efffing grand. well I suppose I was watching Twin and Yuna videos before i fell asleep and that always (unless im in a pathetic mood) Makes me happy.
But yeah, feeling a bit better now ahaha :3
so ima probably either read some more or do some more Twin and Yuna stalking... Ahh who'm I kidding its both and we know it :3
But yeah, that was a good thing that happened so I th...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

Just A thing a noticed...

June 4, 2012

Its weird yola.
I dont think I've ever told... anyone about this actually
But you see... I have this weird thing... and im not sure if its never mentioned because its normal or its weird hence why I've never head of it
But like sometimes when im touched on my arms, legs, pack or front (face very very occasionaly) It hurts more than holding your hand over an open flame while being kicked and stabbed. I mean granted thats when its REALLY bad... and normally it just huts on the backs of my arms a...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

purly for my sanity

June 4, 2012

morning yola. Im not sad or anything. I just... well I haven't really talked to anyone but myself in days. And I dont know how it is for other people... but after having a three hour conversation with yourself, is One, a little worrying :3 and two you get a bit bored of hearing your own voice.
But yeah, between reading and not having anyone to talk to me is making me mad. Like back when we were in Aus. Which I dont like cause that makes me think of then, which make me remember what time of yea...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

dont worry this is nothing important

June 3, 2012

Hey yola.
I feel weird.
I havent seen anyone in ages
and i dont really talk to anyone much either
I've just been sat reading
Like back in Australia
You know I hardly remember that month
I remember the rest of the holiday so clearly
But that end month all I remember doing is reading
Oh and nearly passing out from heat on some walk we went on
Im not so much depressed as numb
no not numb
empty?
I dont know
Its weird whatever it is
its kinda like being zoned out, but not....
fuck it
I cant decide if i mis...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

.

June 2, 2012

This might actually be it yola... Im so much closer than ever before.
I dont really have anyone left who i would need to say goodbye to... no one will miss me.
Its been a good year yola.
goodnight

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Posted by bronwen wild.

sigh

June 2, 2012

*sigh* hey yola.
Tidied my room today.
haven't cut either. pretty proud of that
worried about Nick though... Not sure if hes not talking to me or is busy. I sent him a text earlier... But I don't wanna annoy him though so I'll leave it for today. I hope he's alright though.
Got some good news today! Uncle John has sold my horse box! so thats a nice £400 for me soon ^_^
Thinking of selling my guitar and drums too... if I do move out that is... I mean that'll be an extra £280 on top (200 for the ...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

...

June 1, 2012

feeling so alone tonight.

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Posted by bronwen wild.

Im kinda hoping no one goes out tonight......

May 30, 2012

I want to cry and scream and run away and die. I want to get away. I want a hug. I need something. I... I feel like all the strings inside me have broken...
Fuck this shit.
I dont know what to do anymore.
Bye yola.
Hhahaha I wrote this hours ago :L Oh wells ... still stands.... gonna remember to publish this time.... :L or not...whatever

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Posted by bronwen wild.

Stop watching Twin and Nova!

May 28, 2012

I REALLY need to stop watching twin and Nova videos. The depress the fuck out of me, but I love them so much!
Tiz nawt good... but yeah.. felt that that needed a hole blog post to its self ahaha :3
So yeah... Byes and stuff :L

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Posted by bronwen wild.

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