A depressed girls pursuit of happiness

!!!

July 12, 2012

note to self dont watch my other me trailers at 4 in the morning.

Posted by bronwen wild.

uh yeah... whatever the fuck this is...

July 12, 2012

WHY HAVE THEY NOT SHIPPED MY MANGA YET!?! DFGBHNKNNBCXFHML ALL OF MY RAGE!!
my brain is telling me we have stuff to write here
but wont tell me what
so uh yeah
oh i know
1. Geoff can go fuck himself if he ever tries to tell me to "just be happy" Ever again. seriously. fuck off with that shit.
2. My brain is weird. Hated the way I look in general my entire life. and HATED the way I look in bunches my hole life... realize im trans... "Oh hey I dont look so bad... and you know what will make this EVE...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

I had a rant....its quite angry...

July 9, 2012

Okay so I'll admit that im in a bad mood today anyway
But
Something just occurred to me ( as these things tend to do)
I actually do hate my father
I have no affection
Kind feeling
nice thoughts
I hate the man
I hate everything about him
He makes my skin crawl
Hes creepy, vindictive, manipulative and a horrible little man
I will stay here sure
I will tolerate him
But be sure that next time he gets a little tiffy with me about money hes going to be well put in his fucking place
cause see my child be...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

fucking calm...and breath....

July 5, 2012

Okay so I had I nice day
Ruined
So okay came out to two people about being bi
(well done me xD its easy when thats not your biggest secret)
And had to tell adam im Trans
Cause after seeing eachother for two hours
He decided we're in love
and I NEED him to understand
that this 'girl' hes in love with
isnt a girl
So I told him
well am telling him
His first responce was "why do you think that" Cause well yeah I gave no explanation
I just was like
Im sorry but I had to tell you this. its a big deal cause...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

Another wonderful ramble from me xD

July 4, 2012

Evening yola
again not here for any real reason
less angsty than normal
I read a book last night
one of 15 i bought yesterday
And well its mine
its perfect
and made me cry
and its perfect
and im never telling anyone about it
Its my imperial Affliction
And after reading it
Like with all sad ad heartbreaking things I emailed mum
Cause I dont know
its like pretending to talk to her
but, like safer
and less crazy
I know I wont get a reply
but i can still talk to her the same as if she were alive throu...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

oh look shes whining again... shock horror! :O

July 3, 2012

Hey yola.
So i dont have any clue what I want to talk about
but i felt like i should talk
Had a pretty okay day. Bought books ^_^ Read two of them already (shut up manga counts as a book)
It was also good cause the like one person who knows about all this shit isnt scared of me and doest think im a freak or something. Which you know... Was surprising. And nice.
Though speaking of that
still no idea what I want to do
And I am starting to think it would be easier to just
you know
Be a girl
ive cope...
Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

its long and incoherent. But I've finnaly written it! gold star for me

July 1, 2012

This is really long...and probably doesnt make much coherent sense and im sorry for that. but at least this is now out in words.

Hey yola.
so, my panic has died down now
And my thoughts are less
ASHFP:PGBYFGHKLDFGHUKL:FGHKHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELP!!!
So I came to tell you whats been going on with me
since I kinda feel totally at peace with this now
Well no
cause I mean its only been like a week since I started putting a voice and a name to this shit
So its still scary as fuck and i dont tot...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

good day sir

July 1, 2012

Hey Nikki. we dont talk a hole lot anymore.
But I just wanted to remind you cause you seem to forget or something
I dont know but you never remember
But if you need me talk to me
please?
cause i worry about you
and yeah whatever
I'll always worry deal teh fuck with it
so yeah, talk to me if you want/need to
Or talk to someone else
Because you ass people care about you
and dont you dare go anywhere okay?
I'll give you reasons if you like
But for now im scared of the dark and need to actually finish w...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

30th of june

June 30, 2012

Okay so ima write this. and then i'll probably get scared and delete it

Yup I deleted it

fucking coward
just say it you twat
if I put it all in one long worded sentence would anyone hold it against me?
No?

nope no cant do it
sorry s'just not happening

*this is three separate posts by the way*

Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

I hate everything.

June 30, 2012

I am such an effing coward
I mean im going to have to tell people sooner or later
I dont want to
But ya know
its either I tell them, or awkward questions will start to pop up

Maybe I dont have to tell anyone
Its not like my friends ever invite me out with them or anything
or even talk to me

well thats a depressing thought
fuck it im going to watch more twin videos
He makes me feel better and him and Val are just... well they're pretty fucking amazing
and I WISH i had someone to go to Alcon with so I...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

wsercfhb./

June 30, 2012

I've just realized something
Its been a week since everyone came round for the party/gathering whatever the fuck you wanna call it
Not one of them helped clean up
(well daisy did a bit)
And I havent heard from a single one of them
No thanks
no fucking anything
I got whined at for not bringing enough food/booze
Even though none of them brought anything (well daisy an dylan did but they werent moaning so they dont get included cause i like them)
And they got pissy when I dared be pissed off that t...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

29th of june

June 29, 2012

Hai yola. Busy day full of thinking loving my hair and finally getting paid
But in BIG news!!! ... *drum role* MY BELLY HASNT HURT FOR THREE DAYS STRAIGHT!!! LIKE AT ALL! FUCK YAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hapyy mothing fucking bean!
And yeah my hair. I love it so much!
Why was it not black before?
It looks like.. the best of all the hairs its been
and thats with it being too long and my fringe being awful
I want short and spiky!!!
Ands I got my moneys from my horse box ^_^ whi...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

Im happy and I like things about myself.... WHAT IS THIS WITCHCRAFT?!

June 28, 2012

Hey yoolla ^_^ Im in a really good mood
I've been talking to Jake (best thing ever honestly)
My hair is now black! And it looks awesome! I fucking love it
Never not being black I have never loved a hair color this much
Or instantly known it was exactly perfect
Which is just epic
And I'vve been doing a lot of reading and video watching
and my mind fuckery is starting to make sense
And I've found some stuffs ima buy that'll help
Ah fuck it its yola I can tell you no one reads here
Basically ima bu...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

27th June 2012

June 27, 2012

Hey yola. So uh. After a lot of thinking tonight.. and well over the past..week or so (there's also been some of thinking done over the past two years) I've come to realize something.
I cant tell you yet.
because i want to give it time to make sure Its not just a spur of the moment thing.
It doesnt feel like it. I mean I'm more at peace with myself after realizing this than I have... well ever.
It feels and sounds right.
But its a big thing yola
So I dont wanna rush it
(she says knowing full well ...
Continue reading...

Posted by bronwen wild.

I hate everything.

June 26, 2012

Hey yola. I feel like I should be telling webs this. But that requires using google and remembering my unser name/password so you're going to have to live with the whiny.
Im so lost yola
Like
I hurt
But I also dont feel anything
And im so effing confused and scared about so many fucking things
But I also dont care
Or wish I didnt care
And I have moments where I think that things are gonna be alright
and then i spend hours panicking that thy never will be because im too fucking fucked up
And Im dep...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

My mind is full of fuck

June 25, 2012

My head she is full of fuck.
I mean its not like we didn't have enough things going on in my head to drive me insane, and for me to worry and obsess over whenever it got quiet.
But no, according to my head we needed more fuckary. Cause what was already there wasn't enough.
Good
wonderful
And there is literally nothing I can do about this. Im just going to be sat thinking about it.
I really do hate my brain sometimes
Dont drink kids
well no I can hardly blame alcohol, this is all sober mes doing
Ef...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

Guh

June 24, 2012

Okay so
Last night was awesome :L
My mind is saddly now full of fuck and I really honestly have no idea wtf to do T_T
I miss mam
Padi is a dick
Dan is an adorable drunk :3
Oh and im worried about people :L
OH and tickets to go see Tesseract came ^_^
so yeah thats that
buh byes

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Posted by bronwen wild.

effing having to leave the house xD

June 23, 2012

Heys yoolla ^_^ sos tiz party night this evening xD
Drama already(fucking abi) But yeah. BOOZE LOTS AND LOTS! And al my friendlings ^_^ Im a happy bronnie thats trying not to think about how badly this could go or how awful this could be. I'll have Jess and Dylan. T'will be fine OH AND JADE! :D happy bean. Okays so yeah. Thats my day xD I'll be leaving soon to make sure I have a house and shizzle :L and make sure the freezer's on. so yah. Being a teenager for once.
Meh
who'm I kiddingg this is...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

^_^

June 21, 2012

Evenan yoollla so as promised heres my bitch about how effing shite tonight was.
But before I get to that... It is fucking creepy how much Carrie-Ann (14) Flirts with people over the age of 20 and then they flirt back.... In a for realz type way, not in a Ahhh humor the small girl type way. Fucking creepy. I dont care how nice Ben is he's still 20 (ish) okay so after some stalking he was born in 1992 so he is 20. So theres a lovely 6 year age gap. Carrie hasnt even started her GCSE's yet and ...
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Posted by bronwen wild.

Fucking fuck

June 21, 2012

Hey yola.. so i'll be going out any second now. Dont wanna go.... Ima be bad when I get home.... just a feeling.... so uh yeah... Im scared. I'll talk to you tonight yola. Look after yourself...
Guh byes x

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Posted by bronwen wild.

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