nargle.

July 30, 2012
Gotta love how my depression has decided sleep is the answer after all and how i now just sleep through the day even if i REALLY try not to. Like today... I woke up at like 8? and put on death note to keep me awake cause i cant sleep through something subtitled ever. Yet suddenly its fucking 6'oclock and i have no idea when I even fell back to sleep aside from the fact that death note is still playing on repeat T_T
I guess its kinda good, cause i mean lack of being awake is always grand.
But sleeping through the day still isnt good
fuck you depression

 

heh oops.

July 29, 2012
I keep on meaning to go eat... and just noticed its been like 24 hours since I ate anything ;3
No wonder my belly has been making sad sounds :L
sorry it amused me :3

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hmm

July 29, 2012
I love the dark
and the night
and my garden
and sitting in it in the dark
Like i have done the past few nights
just sat
quietly singing
and crying
and telling it everything thats wrong
usually stuff i ever even knew was wrong
and then i cry
and its done
and i come back inside like
wtf now? O_o T_T
Guh
it sucks being alone yola.
But i guess its my fault
its all my fault really
time to go eat chocolate i guess.

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All hands to crying in fear stations

July 28, 2012
My god
I just did the bravest
yet most stupid thing I have ever done
my god
my heart
oh lord
going to go die in a hole now
T_T
D:
PANIC!!! D:

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okay so I went on a total ramble. im sorry its nothing important though so no worries :L

July 27, 2012
*I go on a massive ramble about absolutely fuck all. and its totally off topic and pointless :L I apologize




Gah so much thinking T_T
Which is driving me mad! D:
Fucking brain
Cause like the past two nights i've just been sat here like
"Eh, be a girl? i dont think we are, but it'll be easier"
and then my brain gets all "AHHHHHHHH DOUBT!"
and then im all "Stfu do you want to be in chronic pain again?"
and I dont know T_T
cause (warning this is me just rambling out loud from here on out, im not sure h...
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its petty and stupid. but if hes going to be a cunt im aloud to be pissed.

July 26, 2012
I would like to destory my brother with fire
fire and spades
fuck you then
fucking asshole
what did you expect if you wake me up after like 2 hours sleep when i was actually going to get more just to be pissing with me about going to the gym
Okay yeah, I'd like to go
that dose not mean i would like to be bitched at just after im woken up (with a fucking massive headache i may add) just to be whined at.
and then for you to storm off all pissy
and then wont talk to me
im fucking tired of this shit
We...
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sdrfty87uyh87yvghyu8uyh8uhnu890uhnb8uv cg7ty

July 24, 2012
well uh hey there uh yola
uh
uh
fuck
well
um
somehow
my brother now knows
fuckinghell
wat
wait
oh my god
he was
alright?
he joked
and whatever
but like
wat
it was
i dont
fucking hell
oh my
um
fuck
uh
wat
um
oh lord
oh
uh
um
fucking
god
dear
what
i dont even
fucking hell

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I hate everything.

July 24, 2012
Its strange
But I dont even seem to notice how pissed off i am
or how sad i am
or both
untill im forced to leave my room
or if people come into my room
and cause I wasn't expecting it
and usually the only person whos around is padi
I am a massive dick to him
and then he goes all quiet and i get even more pissed off with him
I just feel like yelling "STOP JUDGING ME MOTHERFUCKER AND BE A FUCKING MAN FOR ONCE, OR BETTER YET BE MY BROTHER AND GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HOW FUCKING UNHAPPY I AM!"
and he also didnt ...
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Good morning yola!

July 23, 2012
Mornoon yola!
I am a happy!
My binder and totoro Have arrived ^^
Teh binder i awesome....if a little hard to get on
I look pudgy as hell in it
But
I am vertically boob free! And it doesn't even really feel like its there
So I'm a happy
And feeling oddly better about this shit
Just need to go shopping properly since I have one maybe two pairs of jeans
and few tops :L
But kinda have no one I could go with ahaha
Since I would be buying guys clothing
and like no one who knows would really want to go sho...
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Im sorry this is just a long rambling whiny rant. Nothing of importance is said.. just thoughts from the day xD

July 22, 2012
I feel like a twat
A manly twat (lol have even started lowering my voice and hadn't noticed :L)
But Im a twat
Fucking hell bron
what on living crap were you thi- oh right drunk
*slow claps*
Oh well
 Fuck everything would be easier if i wasn't trans
But shit I cant take it back
theres no way on gods earth im going through that bs again
Cause im pretty fucking sure that suppressing this crap was either the cause or one of the main causes of my belly pain
Cause as of the day I started figuring this s...
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Sup yola ;3

July 21, 2012
I dyed my hair today
RED :D
And then cut it
And my god
for once i actually did something I love
My fringe wasnt touched cause of growing out
but it looks epic anyway so thats fine
and my hair is just LAYERS!
Well no
really what I should say is
Top = short
Bottom = same length
With lots of layers
I cut off soo much hair!
Was brilliant
And looks good (well I think so)
Sorry im gushing mostly cause im proud I didnt fuck it up :3
But yeah that was god ^_^
and some of my new stuff came today
So I not have new ...
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^_^

July 20, 2012
Can someone please tell my body that 1. Your knees should NOT hurt this much from the sheer act of standing up. and 2. Breathing should never hurt.
But on the plus. My hair is ginger (soon to be red) And I had a good day, and felt oddly masculine.. no wrong wording.. i acted more manly... Aka I didn't act all bullshitty girly while out xD And felt like a boss with a hole on the ass on my favorite jeans (not. pleased.)
Gah fucking body.

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what down there says

July 19, 2012
So yeah.. could I uh stop crying now please?
Fucking waist of space freak

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19th of july

July 18, 2012
Not having a grate night to be honest.
feeling like a freak
and feeling for too fat
mhm
not a good night


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PANIC PANIC PANIC OH GOD PANIC!

July 17, 2012
Oh god oh lord oh god oh lord oh god oh lord oh god oh lord oh god oh lord oh god oh lord oh god oh lord oh god ohlord PANIC FUCKING PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OH God why did I do that
oh fuck
oh lord
oh dear
of lord
oh
oh no
fucking
why
oh dear
But on the plus side I've also ordered new shoes :D
Black converse for the win! :D
Oh right where was I?
WHYYYYYYYY
Why would I do such a thing
Oh god
The panic is less now
God that was the most brave thing ive ever done
Goood loord
Fuc...
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xc '#kp;ukhrgfttyyupwer'pwero'ersklrterawuil;wearo'pwepae

July 17, 2012
Hmm... To buy or not to buy.... that is the question
fucking fuck everything.. Honestly
T_T
FUUUU

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I hate myself sometimes.

July 16, 2012
Scratch anything hopeful I may have said yesterday. I will be forever alone. And I fucking hate it.
Never in my life have I wanted to just lie. To just take it all back. Not gay, not trans, not even bi. Fuck everything.
and its pathetic because whats set this off is so small that I actually hate myself for letting it get to me.
goodnight yola. Im going to go wallow in self hate now. Byee!

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I WANT TO GO TO MOTHERFUCKING ALCON!

July 16, 2012
I WANT TO GO TO ALCON I WANT TO GO TO ALCON I WANT TO GO TO ALCON I WANT TO GO TO ALCON I WANT TO GO TO ALCON I WANT TO GO TO ALCON I WANT TO GO TO ALCON I WANT TO GO TO ALCON I WANT TO GO TO ALCON I WANT TO GO TO ALCON I WANT TO GO TO ALCON I WANT TO GO TO ALCON I WANT TO GO TO ALCON!

*cries* I really really really want to go to alcon.
Ah well I'll just have to PRAY that next year Val, twin and nova get invited back! And maybe all of parle will be invited and not just Jen and kelly... Cause t...
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I rambled I'm sorry.

July 15, 2012
Okay so I had written something but it went on forever so im going to re-write and summarize now that i know whats wrong.
Okay so one. I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE Posts that are like "Like this if you hate cancer.... or Like this if you think this is cute..." Or such
Piss off okay
We know you dont care really
And OF COURSE WE ALL WISH CANCER DIDN'T EXIST! I do not need to 'Share' a picture of a dying girl to prove this.
So fuck OFF with it!
And two
Its going to be three years (if I include the year w...
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13th of July! :D

July 14, 2012
YOLA! HAI!
Ahhh I am happy
And its grate
My books arrived too which is epic ^_^
But yeah
I SaW TRINFACE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A YEAR AND A HALF!!!! :D :D
And nothing had changed. Like the first.... 10 minutes were a bit... Soo........*cough*......Uh
But then we got into fangirling and everything was just like ooold taimes ^_^
Which makes meh happeh
It sucked she had to leave SO FUCKING EARLY though... like she left at... half 6 ish maybe 7
Which sucked
But still I saw my trinface and my sam
and we ...
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