I got a phone call at around 4.20 this afternoon letting me know my horse had been put down. i'm not sure i've cried so hard without a panic attack being involved ever. i shook and howled and bawled and died a million deaths because my soulmate is dead.
i will not talk about her here. i am too tired and too emotional. i reached out to G because i was crying so hard and wanted someone to talk to but she didnt reach back, so i've been feeling kind of hollow all day.

its okay that she didnt care

im going to bed now

my eyes hurt from crying.