its long, i need to distract myself
Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, November 11, 2012
Sup yola.
So
well
I dont want to talk about the other shit
I just
I dont get something
People say things to me, or online
Like
"no one wants me around"
Or
"Im never good enough for anyone"
But
They're always good enough to me, they always matter to me, and im never the person why leaves them, they leave me...
Its as if I dont count
Its as if my caring doesn't matter
Why is that?
I forgive people when I have no reason to
I listen and care about people that it makes no sense for me to care about, yet I do.
I never dont have time to listen
I never mind
I try to help best I can and be there
Yet I dont count
sometimes I wish I could hold a grudge
Because sometimes I feel people dont deserve to be forgiven, or to be helped by me
BUT I CANT HELP IT!
And I wish I could because it HURTS to care this much and be brushed away
IT FUCKING HURTS to watch people destroy themselves
It hurts
it hurts
it hurts
And it hurts even more that there's nothing I can do
And whats more is I KNOW
I always know
god
If i can tell Identical fucking twins apart because of their mannerisms without glasses on (Seriously, first two days they were in class i didn't have my glasses and didn't believe everyone saying they were identical because they seemed totally different) .
I CAN TELL HOW YOU'RE FEELING!
Its not hard
AND IF YOU DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL DO NOT MAKE IT OBVIOUS ABOUT HOW YOU'RE FEELING!
And yes
I know i used to do the whole, act sad say im fine gig... but that's because most people, you say you're fine, they dont give a fuck so take it as true, people who give a fuck, ask.
Because to hell if Im ever going to tell someone who doesn't give a fuck whats wrong
Hence why no one at college knows mum is dead and why I look so awkward when people mention family! YAY!
I just
I try to help people and they throw it back in your face, or hurt me, or are tottal assholes
And I wish I could just stop caring
but I cant
Anyways sorry for the rant, I just... needed to talk about something that isnt the something on my mind... cause well I'd start crying again and my head hurts
So
well
I dont want to talk about the other shit
I just
I dont get something
People say things to me, or online
Like
"no one wants me around"
Or
"Im never good enough for anyone"
But
They're always good enough to me, they always matter to me, and im never the person why leaves them, they leave me...
Its as if I dont count
Its as if my caring doesn't matter
Why is that?
I forgive people when I have no reason to
I listen and care about people that it makes no sense for me to care about, yet I do.
I never dont have time to listen
I never mind
I try to help best I can and be there
Yet I dont count
sometimes I wish I could hold a grudge
Because sometimes I feel people dont deserve to be forgiven, or to be helped by me
BUT I CANT HELP IT!
And I wish I could because it HURTS to care this much and be brushed away
IT FUCKING HURTS to watch people destroy themselves
It hurts
it hurts
it hurts
And it hurts even more that there's nothing I can do
And whats more is I KNOW
I always know
god
If i can tell Identical fucking twins apart because of their mannerisms without glasses on (Seriously, first two days they were in class i didn't have my glasses and didn't believe everyone saying they were identical because they seemed totally different) .
I CAN TELL HOW YOU'RE FEELING!
Its not hard
AND IF YOU DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL DO NOT MAKE IT OBVIOUS ABOUT HOW YOU'RE FEELING!
And yes
I know i used to do the whole, act sad say im fine gig... but that's because most people, you say you're fine, they dont give a fuck so take it as true, people who give a fuck, ask.
Because to hell if Im ever going to tell someone who doesn't give a fuck whats wrong
Hence why no one at college knows mum is dead and why I look so awkward when people mention family! YAY!
I just
I try to help people and they throw it back in your face, or hurt me, or are tottal assholes
And I wish I could just stop caring
but I cant
Anyways sorry for the rant, I just... needed to talk about something that isnt the something on my mind... cause well I'd start crying again and my head hurts
