Im scared
Posted by bronwen wild on Friday, November 30, 2012
God I have such big plans and such a long way to go
I was sat in the car coming baack from Aber tonight
And I was just thinking through it all
I have to leaarn to sew... like reaally well... within around two years
Which means, All money I have for the next two years Im going to have to spend on sewing and cosplaay
No cons,
I NEED to get fucking good
Aand Im terrified
Becaause what If I dont make it?
What if im not good enough?
What if my lack of being able to draw my designs out nicely holds me back
WHaat if im not good enough
What if even after all my work, I dont get onto the course I want
Or this turns out to not be what I want to do
Im so scared
and im so alone
and I have no idea what to do
Caause on one hand, I jst have to keep concentrating on my sewing and just keep trying and trying
But then...
I just
I want friends
I want what the Parlé gang have
I dont give a shit aabout love really
I would just like a group of people I can be myself around who I love and love me back
I would like some friends who call me sam and accept that im gender neutral, but scared to show it so over compensate as much as I possibly can.
I just dont know
Im so scared
Im trying so hard to stay together
And keep my mind on sewing
But my head always hrts
I always feel sick
and I keep getting these mystery pains
And I feel so fucking alone
And I just dont know what to do
And its my birthday next week, and I kind of waant to do something since its my 17th .... but I have no one to do anything with
So i'll probably just sleep through it
*sigh*
Im so scared I wont make it
I was sat in the car coming baack from Aber tonight
And I was just thinking through it all
I have to leaarn to sew... like reaally well... within around two years
Which means, All money I have for the next two years Im going to have to spend on sewing and cosplaay
No cons,
I NEED to get fucking good
Aand Im terrified
Becaause what If I dont make it?
What if im not good enough?
What if my lack of being able to draw my designs out nicely holds me back
WHaat if im not good enough
What if even after all my work, I dont get onto the course I want
Or this turns out to not be what I want to do
Im so scared
and im so alone
and I have no idea what to do
Caause on one hand, I jst have to keep concentrating on my sewing and just keep trying and trying
But then...
I just
I want friends
I want what the Parlé gang have
I dont give a shit aabout love really
I would just like a group of people I can be myself around who I love and love me back
I would like some friends who call me sam and accept that im gender neutral, but scared to show it so over compensate as much as I possibly can.
I just dont know
Im so scared
Im trying so hard to stay together
And keep my mind on sewing
But my head always hrts
I always feel sick
and I keep getting these mystery pains
And I feel so fucking alone
And I just dont know what to do
And its my birthday next week, and I kind of waant to do something since its my 17th .... but I have no one to do anything with
So i'll probably just sleep through it
*sigh*
Im so scared I wont make it
