...

I dont want to be here anymore I mean what is the fucking point in ANY of it get a job, dont get a job, fall in love, be alone, be fat, be thin, be clever, be dumb, read dont read, live, dont live, WHATS THE POINT? what difference does any of it make? Its always going to just be stuff, its never going to be enough, not enough money, not enough work, not enough looks, its never going to go further than here cause in the end it will have all been for naught. I will never matter. and once my time here ends ( however it ends) I will be forgotten and I will fade because there is nothing waiting for me. Just an empty void of nothingness. So what is the fucking point in it all? We're told life is short, but i'm going to have to spend my life making do. With an at best alright job, pretending it doesn't bother me that im still single, and that all my friends have moved on, while barely making a living, while getting fat. so that every year that no1 resolution is to go to the gym. I dont want it. Keep your living and your dreams and your life. Count me out. If good people who can do great things who deserve to life good full lives because they're going to really use them can die so young. Then whats the point in a disappointment like me living?  I'm going to do nothing. No less than nothing. The only thing I'm good at is looking after the people I love. But the people I love either push me away, or leave me. So even my one use is rendered useless. I have no use, no point, nothing. As bright eyes said, "I'm a waste of breath, of space, of time"

and Im starting to give up.