I fucking hate my family
Posted by bronwen wild on Friday, May 18, 2012
Hey yola. Tonight I was reminded of why I will never ever give in to what people say and let alcohol in. Tonight I was reminded of how it ruins lives and destroyed my family. Thats right kids, me and dad talked. Which was a shame since for the past few days we'd been getting along really well.. But of course this had to happen. I was almost starting to rethink my stand on drink. Even after the joys of what happened in cornwall.
But of course, it started out fine, we were just talking... And he was drunk so I was taking it all very light hearted kind of way. But he got all into it and had to bring up the shit... I looked over his small jabs at me and mam.. And his whining about always getting it wrong and poor him... but then we got onto the topic of me, and as always in my joking manner I said something along the lines of "Eh its just me im a bit rubbish" And he got pissy and didnt say why really, then as we continue hes getting more and more annoyed... and Im like "whut? why?" And apparently he was annoyed at me always being down on myself. And so he starts shouting at me.. So im like well thats what you all lead me to believe... And then he starts crying and saying how much of a fail he is, and how much i mut hate him and how much I must want to run away, no wonder I want to run away he said... and is like crying and is telling me how hard its been and how I could never understand and like that he doesnt remember when he was last happy and that he doesnt even feel alive some times... And then hes angry and talking about mam, and then is sad, and being all sorry. And I just cant stand it. Granny did a similar thing when we went away, though she was more "I hate you and you're selfish".But for fuck sakes.. DO NOT GET CROSS WITH ME AND THEN CRY THAT YOU'RE SORRY! Its drunken lies. The truth was the first bit, the crying and the sorry, thats the alcohol. And Yeah I will comfort you and tell you its okay and that I dont mind all the things you've done and how much you've hurt me. After all the only way out of the labyrinth is to forgive... But don't expect me to forget. Or to not care.
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. God if I hadn't been doing so well these days I'd be a fucking mess right now. But as it is im just annoyed and disappointed with my dad. Things were looking properly up. But I guess some things will never change "/
So I have summerised what happened badly and it sounds like a really stupid thing to be upset about... But I'd have to re-write the hole thing to make it make sense or half decent... so You're stuck with me sounding whiny im afraid :3
Night yola x
But of course, it started out fine, we were just talking... And he was drunk so I was taking it all very light hearted kind of way. But he got all into it and had to bring up the shit... I looked over his small jabs at me and mam.. And his whining about always getting it wrong and poor him... but then we got onto the topic of me, and as always in my joking manner I said something along the lines of "Eh its just me im a bit rubbish" And he got pissy and didnt say why really, then as we continue hes getting more and more annoyed... and Im like "whut? why?" And apparently he was annoyed at me always being down on myself. And so he starts shouting at me.. So im like well thats what you all lead me to believe... And then he starts crying and saying how much of a fail he is, and how much i mut hate him and how much I must want to run away, no wonder I want to run away he said... and is like crying and is telling me how hard its been and how I could never understand and like that he doesnt remember when he was last happy and that he doesnt even feel alive some times... And then hes angry and talking about mam, and then is sad, and being all sorry. And I just cant stand it. Granny did a similar thing when we went away, though she was more "I hate you and you're selfish".But for fuck sakes.. DO NOT GET CROSS WITH ME AND THEN CRY THAT YOU'RE SORRY! Its drunken lies. The truth was the first bit, the crying and the sorry, thats the alcohol. And Yeah I will comfort you and tell you its okay and that I dont mind all the things you've done and how much you've hurt me. After all the only way out of the labyrinth is to forgive... But don't expect me to forget. Or to not care.
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. God if I hadn't been doing so well these days I'd be a fucking mess right now. But as it is im just annoyed and disappointed with my dad. Things were looking properly up. But I guess some things will never change "/
So I have summerised what happened badly and it sounds like a really stupid thing to be upset about... But I'd have to re-write the hole thing to make it make sense or half decent... so You're stuck with me sounding whiny im afraid :3
Night yola x
