i dont even know... thats fucking everywhere
Posted by bronwen wild on Friday, August 30, 2013
Hey yola, so I gotta ask you what the hell is going on? cause like for the past year and a half I've been getting a view on here like... once... evrey few weeks.... if that... now i'm getting views several times a week and its like 3-4 unique visitors... and like just whuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut
how
did
this
happen?
because like, well one: who in their right minds wants to read the angsty rambles of a fucked up 18 year old? and two: how is jesus balls did you find me? Do i come up in searches, if so which ones, and is it because i've mentioned kpop? are you people that insane that google will flash up the word kpop and your like " In for a penny"?
I mean
welcome
and if you made it past the first sentence or the blog title like hello, and of course I have no problem with you reading or else I wouldn't be putting this online, like im not dumb...okay so maybe I am because im posting this online... but like, when you live in a field in the middle of nowhere and have vertually no friends and none that would actually not hate me for trying to talk to them about this shit, the internet is kinda my last chance to feel like someone is listening... and hhere was safe because well it doesn't reach a whole lot of people
cause even now a few people is nothing, and like its whatever... I just find it crazy that there are people who exist that like may actually read this crap.
like holy balls.
because I really do just come here when I have to brain vomit
or cry
because typing through tears is wayyyyyyyyyy less loser ish than sitting hugging my soft toys (hohoh i soooo dont do that)
but yeah
like
probably
people who find this place
dont read further than the first post or the first line or whatever
Man I struggle to read this stuff back so I cant imagine what utter bull crapp this must seem like to other people
but ya know
im saving the planet here one book at a time because I used too fill hundeds of notebooks with this stuff... i have a draw just full of angst ridden note books
its awful
so at least with this alll i have to do is click delete one day
instead of having to burn my backyard to the ground because fire is cool and im bad at it
so yes
i just cant get over how somewhere, for whatever reason maybe
just maybe
someone is reading this shit
hell you could be taking this piss out of it
or taking it and posting somewhere else (also taking the piss out of it)
I dont even know
but thats kinda cool
because my presence online is probably going to be the only thing I leave behind
Like my tumblog and this blog and my old blog and all the various dumb accounts II have on shit...
thats the only place i've even made a slight dent in making an impression
because irl im just this fat kid who had frizzy hair and was a bit of a nerd... and then my mum died and i started dating the weird emo guy who just moved into town... and then I dropped off the planet, got a hair cut and got fatter. They dont recognise me now.
But online i've always just been sort of normal. average. not special but not unwanted either. and that was kinda cool.
i'll always feel safer here because this is where i grew up.
where i live there isnt a whole lot of anything other than sheep, fields and chavs... none of those appeal...
so the internet was like a way out of thatt
I met new people
and saw new things
and got a view on the world that was so indipendant from my family and friends
that well
as much as it helped shape me as a person
it did not help me fit in
since I was there going " Oh anime is cool and I quite like this heavy mettal band and check out these youtubers I found last night they're really funny"
and my friends just... didn't care
they had other shit they were into
but then it grew like " Oh hey i dont think you should make that joke think about who it could offened"
And my friends just didnt care
no one seemed to care
and I started to worry
because like
Gay rights had always just been like peoples rights to me the same with any minority reallly... i've also never had a problem with religion, like some extreamists take it too far and thats an awful shame but religion is not bad. and i just believe those things
but the people around me didnt
and i found that so strange
and i still do now
and i can forget you know
because a lot of the time online
there'll be the asshats
and then the scocial justice asshats
but then a good person will comee and shut their asses down with logic and facts
and I forget that in the real world like the good pepole speak up less
and the asshats shout louder because no one fucking shuts them up
esspecially where im from
like people are super racist
its horrific
it makes me cringe
and i get it
your stupid ass face has probably never seen a black person in real life
they are very uncomon out here
but
dear god if you so much as think a racist thought i will pull your intestines out through your genitals and make you fuckin eat then jesus christ they are people you are people people are people you are same fucking christ
same goes to all
people
are
people
and this is where most of my problems stem from
I
do
not
understand
like
any of it
and i have talked about this much before
because
i just dont
and
wow
how did i get here
i was talking about the abundance of pooeple reading my blog and now im being a scocial justice warior
good lord
what has come of me
how did i get hhere
and who am i
what
where
who why
goodnight yola
i think
i've gone mad
xoxoxoxo
how
did
this
happen?
because like, well one: who in their right minds wants to read the angsty rambles of a fucked up 18 year old? and two: how is jesus balls did you find me? Do i come up in searches, if so which ones, and is it because i've mentioned kpop? are you people that insane that google will flash up the word kpop and your like " In for a penny"?
I mean
welcome
and if you made it past the first sentence or the blog title like hello, and of course I have no problem with you reading or else I wouldn't be putting this online, like im not dumb...okay so maybe I am because im posting this online... but like, when you live in a field in the middle of nowhere and have vertually no friends and none that would actually not hate me for trying to talk to them about this shit, the internet is kinda my last chance to feel like someone is listening... and hhere was safe because well it doesn't reach a whole lot of people
cause even now a few people is nothing, and like its whatever... I just find it crazy that there are people who exist that like may actually read this crap.
like holy balls.
because I really do just come here when I have to brain vomit
or cry
because typing through tears is wayyyyyyyyyy less loser ish than sitting hugging my soft toys (hohoh i soooo dont do that)
but yeah
like
probably
people who find this place
dont read further than the first post or the first line or whatever
Man I struggle to read this stuff back so I cant imagine what utter bull crapp this must seem like to other people
but ya know
im saving the planet here one book at a time because I used too fill hundeds of notebooks with this stuff... i have a draw just full of angst ridden note books
its awful
so at least with this alll i have to do is click delete one day
instead of having to burn my backyard to the ground because fire is cool and im bad at it
so yes
i just cant get over how somewhere, for whatever reason maybe
just maybe
someone is reading this shit
hell you could be taking this piss out of it
or taking it and posting somewhere else (also taking the piss out of it)
I dont even know
but thats kinda cool
because my presence online is probably going to be the only thing I leave behind
Like my tumblog and this blog and my old blog and all the various dumb accounts II have on shit...
thats the only place i've even made a slight dent in making an impression
because irl im just this fat kid who had frizzy hair and was a bit of a nerd... and then my mum died and i started dating the weird emo guy who just moved into town... and then I dropped off the planet, got a hair cut and got fatter. They dont recognise me now.
But online i've always just been sort of normal. average. not special but not unwanted either. and that was kinda cool.
i'll always feel safer here because this is where i grew up.
where i live there isnt a whole lot of anything other than sheep, fields and chavs... none of those appeal...
so the internet was like a way out of thatt
I met new people
and saw new things
and got a view on the world that was so indipendant from my family and friends
that well
as much as it helped shape me as a person
it did not help me fit in
since I was there going " Oh anime is cool and I quite like this heavy mettal band and check out these youtubers I found last night they're really funny"
and my friends just... didn't care
they had other shit they were into
but then it grew like " Oh hey i dont think you should make that joke think about who it could offened"
And my friends just didnt care
no one seemed to care
and I started to worry
because like
Gay rights had always just been like peoples rights to me the same with any minority reallly... i've also never had a problem with religion, like some extreamists take it too far and thats an awful shame but religion is not bad. and i just believe those things
but the people around me didnt
and i found that so strange
and i still do now
and i can forget you know
because a lot of the time online
there'll be the asshats
and then the scocial justice asshats
but then a good person will comee and shut their asses down with logic and facts
and I forget that in the real world like the good pepole speak up less
and the asshats shout louder because no one fucking shuts them up
esspecially where im from
like people are super racist
its horrific
it makes me cringe
and i get it
your stupid ass face has probably never seen a black person in real life
they are very uncomon out here
but
dear god if you so much as think a racist thought i will pull your intestines out through your genitals and make you fuckin eat then jesus christ they are people you are people people are people you are same fucking christ
same goes to all
people
are
people
and this is where most of my problems stem from
I
do
not
understand
like
any of it
and i have talked about this much before
because
i just dont
and
wow
how did i get here
i was talking about the abundance of pooeple reading my blog and now im being a scocial justice warior
good lord
what has come of me
how did i get hhere
and who am i
what
where
who why
goodnight yola
i think
i've gone mad
xoxoxoxo
