hahahakillme.
Posted by bronwen wild on Saturday, October 19, 2013
You know
its rare for me too plan ahead
aside from chidish daydreams
but one boy comes along
and I promise things weeks in advance
agree to things I would never
maybe it's good?
Maybe it's good im not crying over it being October and agreeing to do something with this year
But also
Maybe It's too soon
it's only been three years
and I was quite happy with my plan to stay inside and pretend the world didn't exist
but one stupid boy asks me if i'll go
and makes it sound like he actually wants me there and suddenly I'm saying yes
Making promises weeks in advance
like a plan to be here
like I plan on staying close
this is getting dangrous
I think I like him a little too much
which isn't safe
Getting close means letting in
and that just
isnt safe
because people just rip you open and leave
and you never know who's going to do it
becuase you ever expect it
one minute they're your world
the next they've up and left you and you're alone again
and I dont want that again
I dont want that with him
but I turst too easy
and give in too quickly
and then I do dumb stuff like I did to the guy who asked me out
and I havent spoken to him in a week
because he said the worst thing he possibly could have in responce to my self harm and shit
and I just
god
I like this boy
I mean
There's no way he likes me too
so theres not really any point worrying
he just wants me to dye his hair and do his makeup for the party
he likes someone else
someone he cant have
so like there's no point in me worrying about these things
but I still do
because I'm scared
I dont want to let anyone in
ever again
but at the same time
i need to
because im scared of being alone
my hair smells nice though
night yola xx
its rare for me too plan ahead
aside from chidish daydreams
but one boy comes along
and I promise things weeks in advance
agree to things I would never
maybe it's good?
Maybe it's good im not crying over it being October and agreeing to do something with this year
But also
Maybe It's too soon
it's only been three years
and I was quite happy with my plan to stay inside and pretend the world didn't exist
but one stupid boy asks me if i'll go
and makes it sound like he actually wants me there and suddenly I'm saying yes
Making promises weeks in advance
like a plan to be here
like I plan on staying close
this is getting dangrous
I think I like him a little too much
which isn't safe
Getting close means letting in
and that just
isnt safe
because people just rip you open and leave
and you never know who's going to do it
becuase you ever expect it
one minute they're your world
the next they've up and left you and you're alone again
and I dont want that again
I dont want that with him
but I turst too easy
and give in too quickly
and then I do dumb stuff like I did to the guy who asked me out
and I havent spoken to him in a week
because he said the worst thing he possibly could have in responce to my self harm and shit
and I just
god
I like this boy
I mean
There's no way he likes me too
so theres not really any point worrying
he just wants me to dye his hair and do his makeup for the party
he likes someone else
someone he cant have
so like there's no point in me worrying about these things
but I still do
because I'm scared
I dont want to let anyone in
ever again
but at the same time
i need to
because im scared of being alone
my hair smells nice though
night yola xx
