final post. 2016
Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, December 18, 2016
its strange. the things that change over time. The things that hurt. memories. me.
I remember being 12 and being so in love with adam. Making my first blog. spending my life on msn until the day it died.
I remember my first kiss with Jaz and all the time that has passed since then. Her becoming who she is. and me becoming, well. me.
But mostly. of course. if im here, its only ever meant one thing. Nick. this year is the sixth full year I have known him. And i just spent hours scrolling back through 4 years worth of chat. back to the breakup. it funny. I used to read them and long for him. long for love. I used to cry. now i feel fond. how lucky was I to have a friend so dear. who still invites me to go sword fighting. and i want to go. i just never have sundays off.
I keep coming back here yola. to tell you how i've changed. how im doing well.
but i think this really may be the end. over a year ago I last visited.
and the finial chapters of the story that i started here so long ago have finally closed.
So, let me, in the spirit of this blog. tell you about me.
My name is Bryony.
I am 21 years old.
I live in Wales.
I work in a 24 hour coffee shop.
And I'm buying my own home.
I have short. very short reddy brown hair, brown eyes and a bad complexion.
I love kpop and asian dramas, because they make me happy. I dont like them because the people are attractive or because i want to be one of them or be in one of them or because i have somebullshit idealistic view of korea in my head. its just that the music is good, and fun, and the fandom is part of the point. not just an after effect.
I work 42 hours a week and spend the rest on tumblr.
this year we sold my mothers house. probate is done. my mother died when I was 13. A trauma I am still not over.
my dad is an asshole, but he's working on it.
My brother has found a partner that is good for him. finally.
I still have bad mental health.
My bad days are bad. and my good days arent often.
I like the friends I have now.
I suffer chronic back and knee pain.
but I will suffer 1000 days of this than have a second of my stomach pain again.
A company thats not my own tried to teal me to their own. i didn't go.
I have finally come to terms with a label for myself. for now.
I am demisexual. And while I would love to be loved. I do not need it. and i dont want sex. like at all.
And my gender? who knows? but I can live being called her. and i can live with the days i cant.
My name is Samuel. and I am 21 years old. I never though I'd let myself live past 18, but I havent cut in 10 months. and I havent tried to kill myself in 3 years.
I want to travel, but im deathly affraid to go alone.
I used to be worried i'd be in love with nick forever.
I think
Im finally not.
goodnight.
I remember being 12 and being so in love with adam. Making my first blog. spending my life on msn until the day it died.
I remember my first kiss with Jaz and all the time that has passed since then. Her becoming who she is. and me becoming, well. me.
But mostly. of course. if im here, its only ever meant one thing. Nick. this year is the sixth full year I have known him. And i just spent hours scrolling back through 4 years worth of chat. back to the breakup. it funny. I used to read them and long for him. long for love. I used to cry. now i feel fond. how lucky was I to have a friend so dear. who still invites me to go sword fighting. and i want to go. i just never have sundays off.
I keep coming back here yola. to tell you how i've changed. how im doing well.
but i think this really may be the end. over a year ago I last visited.
and the finial chapters of the story that i started here so long ago have finally closed.
So, let me, in the spirit of this blog. tell you about me.
My name is Bryony.
I am 21 years old.
I live in Wales.
I work in a 24 hour coffee shop.
And I'm buying my own home.
I have short. very short reddy brown hair, brown eyes and a bad complexion.
I love kpop and asian dramas, because they make me happy. I dont like them because the people are attractive or because i want to be one of them or be in one of them or because i have somebullshit idealistic view of korea in my head. its just that the music is good, and fun, and the fandom is part of the point. not just an after effect.
I work 42 hours a week and spend the rest on tumblr.
this year we sold my mothers house. probate is done. my mother died when I was 13. A trauma I am still not over.
my dad is an asshole, but he's working on it.
My brother has found a partner that is good for him. finally.
I still have bad mental health.
My bad days are bad. and my good days arent often.
I like the friends I have now.
I suffer chronic back and knee pain.
but I will suffer 1000 days of this than have a second of my stomach pain again.
A company thats not my own tried to teal me to their own. i didn't go.
I have finally come to terms with a label for myself. for now.
I am demisexual. And while I would love to be loved. I do not need it. and i dont want sex. like at all.
And my gender? who knows? but I can live being called her. and i can live with the days i cant.
My name is Samuel. and I am 21 years old. I never though I'd let myself live past 18, but I havent cut in 10 months. and I havent tried to kill myself in 3 years.
I want to travel, but im deathly affraid to go alone.
I used to be worried i'd be in love with nick forever.
I think
Im finally not.
goodnight.
