dear me from myself
Posted by bronwen wild on Saturday, February 28, 2015
Dear 15 year old me,
Today, in your life someone probably told you that you are fat, or ugly or maybe both. I know you most definitely told yourself that today and much worse. So i just wanted to write you a letter.
First of all I am 19 now, and no longer live at home. I live in the city now and am working towards becoming a real productive member of society. I've been home once in the past 8 or so months. Dad misses me.
Second, I am no longer seeing that boy you're in love with. He hurt me quite a lot, but that's okay. He didn't mean to, and I forgave him a long time ago. We are friends now. Sort of. He lives here too. I don't see him much though.
Third, I found something I care about more than self harm. It's called kpop, you'll love it. one night, in a few years time you will stand in the moonlight with nothing but your ipod and you will dance. Your heart will soar higher than you remember ever being possible before and you will know, right then that things will get better and that this feeling and this music are here to stay. So although we have moved away from the stars, music is very much here to stay.
Fourth, I have decided to give myself a dream. Or rather, a long term goal. Yes, thats right. No longer am I the "no further than a week in advance" girl. Now I am the person with a dream. I want to be able to speak 11 languages by the time im 30. I want to be able to speak them well by 35 and I would love to be fluent in at least 5 of them by 40. And as I learn I wish to go traveling to all the places who's languages I can speak. I wish to know their cultures and customs as well as their words.
And lastly, but oh my is it the most important. I dont hate myself anymore. I'm still depressed, im still anxious and I still dont look exactly as i would like, but do you know what? I'm cute as hell. From my acne to my squishy belly to my thunder god thighs. I am pretty, and I am clever and I am capable. I do not love myself all the time, but I have leaned to like myself, because in the end, im not so bad after all.
So today I looked in the mirror, at my bad skin and chubby face and smiled. Because I am happy with myself and you'll learn to be too. Dont be so hard on yourself kid, you're wonderful.
love from a slightly older you.
xxx
Today, in your life someone probably told you that you are fat, or ugly or maybe both. I know you most definitely told yourself that today and much worse. So i just wanted to write you a letter.
First of all I am 19 now, and no longer live at home. I live in the city now and am working towards becoming a real productive member of society. I've been home once in the past 8 or so months. Dad misses me.
Second, I am no longer seeing that boy you're in love with. He hurt me quite a lot, but that's okay. He didn't mean to, and I forgave him a long time ago. We are friends now. Sort of. He lives here too. I don't see him much though.
Third, I found something I care about more than self harm. It's called kpop, you'll love it. one night, in a few years time you will stand in the moonlight with nothing but your ipod and you will dance. Your heart will soar higher than you remember ever being possible before and you will know, right then that things will get better and that this feeling and this music are here to stay. So although we have moved away from the stars, music is very much here to stay.
Fourth, I have decided to give myself a dream. Or rather, a long term goal. Yes, thats right. No longer am I the "no further than a week in advance" girl. Now I am the person with a dream. I want to be able to speak 11 languages by the time im 30. I want to be able to speak them well by 35 and I would love to be fluent in at least 5 of them by 40. And as I learn I wish to go traveling to all the places who's languages I can speak. I wish to know their cultures and customs as well as their words.
And lastly, but oh my is it the most important. I dont hate myself anymore. I'm still depressed, im still anxious and I still dont look exactly as i would like, but do you know what? I'm cute as hell. From my acne to my squishy belly to my thunder god thighs. I am pretty, and I am clever and I am capable. I do not love myself all the time, but I have leaned to like myself, because in the end, im not so bad after all.
So today I looked in the mirror, at my bad skin and chubby face and smiled. Because I am happy with myself and you'll learn to be too. Dont be so hard on yourself kid, you're wonderful.
love from a slightly older you.
xxx
