ASDFGHKL:@
Posted by bronwen wild on Monday, November 5, 2012
Hey yola
So there are good things and bad things
Bad things
well as expected this week was shite
and I dont think next week will be much better
And i've lost several people who I thought were friends
And I came so close to selfharming this week.
did a good job of cutting my thumb open by accident, thats all though
Good things.
I feel things with me and Trin are good again. Like we dont talk all time but we do talk and she just, gah shes one of my best friends. and I love her.
Im going to buy fabric tomorrow and try my hand at making a cushion alone
I'm learning to deal with my anxiety, kind of...
Oh I dont know
god I have so many conflicting and contrasting emotions and they all clash against each other and drive me insane.
And my brother is just SO good at picking times too wind me up, and known exactly what to say to do so, even if its not intentional. And its driving me crazy because It upsets me a lot and theres not much I can do about that, but I hate seeing the hurt puppy look on his face.
God
Things are better, right?
I dont self harm
Im not suicidal
My stomach doesn't hurt 24/7
I dont cry all the time
I know what I want to do with my life
....
So why does this feel so much harder?
I don't know yola I really don't
I just feel so alone
I have four friends I talk to regularly
One is the most infuriating person in the world due to his HUGE lack of being able to see reality and that 1. no you're not the only person this has ever happened to and 2. that I can help, will help, want to help if you'd let me 3. REALL REALLY NEEDS HELP! 4. but doesn't know what to do because he's a stupid male thats never had anything this big happen before. (Who lives in cornwall)
The second is a girl I've met once but is really nice. (Who lives Carmarthen/Llanelli ish)
The third? Best friend who happens to live in Ireland now.
And the forth is Nicholas :3
I haven't seen any of them in months, some years.
And my so called other friends?
My so called Best friend?
Who, knows?
Fuck it bye yola.
So there are good things and bad things
Bad things
well as expected this week was shite
and I dont think next week will be much better
And i've lost several people who I thought were friends
And I came so close to selfharming this week.
did a good job of cutting my thumb open by accident, thats all though
Good things.
I feel things with me and Trin are good again. Like we dont talk all time but we do talk and she just, gah shes one of my best friends. and I love her.
Im going to buy fabric tomorrow and try my hand at making a cushion alone
I'm learning to deal with my anxiety, kind of...
Oh I dont know
god I have so many conflicting and contrasting emotions and they all clash against each other and drive me insane.
And my brother is just SO good at picking times too wind me up, and known exactly what to say to do so, even if its not intentional. And its driving me crazy because It upsets me a lot and theres not much I can do about that, but I hate seeing the hurt puppy look on his face.
God
Things are better, right?
I dont self harm
Im not suicidal
My stomach doesn't hurt 24/7
I dont cry all the time
I know what I want to do with my life
....
So why does this feel so much harder?
I don't know yola I really don't
I just feel so alone
I have four friends I talk to regularly
One is the most infuriating person in the world due to his HUGE lack of being able to see reality and that 1. no you're not the only person this has ever happened to and 2. that I can help, will help, want to help if you'd let me 3. REALL REALLY NEEDS HELP! 4. but doesn't know what to do because he's a stupid male thats never had anything this big happen before. (Who lives in cornwall)
The second is a girl I've met once but is really nice. (Who lives Carmarthen/Llanelli ish)
The third? Best friend who happens to live in Ireland now.
And the forth is Nicholas :3
I haven't seen any of them in months, some years.
And my so called other friends?
My so called Best friend?
Who, knows?
Fuck it bye yola.
