it sucks
i wasnt even good at trying to kill myself
 
the first time the lack of air scared me
the second time i didnt bleed enough
the third time I held my pills and booze too well
the fourth was the same.

I heard tales of kids dieing from taking 11 pain killers

I took nearly 20 and it didnt even make me sick

The second time I felt woozy for a couple of days from the lack of blood

and I gave myself a hint of liver damage on attempt three

attempt four was my most serious...

I drank half a bottle of vodka and swallowed every pill I could find.

I wasn't even ill.

well my stomach hurt a little

but I was in constant stomach pain back then
so that means shit

i'd just like to be good at something you know?
but I even sucked at killing myself.

Sure on two of them I was talked down

but that still leaves two
where i just sucked.

so where does that even leave me?