Browsing Archive: March, 2014

i dont know

Posted by bronwen wild on Monday, March 24, 2014,

see,
for years my depression was a black and white sort of deal.
"i am sad because...."
"I am angry because..."
"I am lonely because..."
But...
things have become less black and white
in all sences
like
I'm suicidal... but im not always unhappy
I'm depressed but I dont always feel like shit
I'm scared but not always full of anxiety
My stomach hurts but not always
I hate myself, but I can look in a mirror

it's dumb...
and i guess i know that
I just
i dont always feel awful
and thats new to me

i've had ...
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a rant about tv shows

Posted by bronwen wild on Friday, March 21, 2014,

so i rewatched an episode of tree hill today.. after not really watching it since it finished in 2012. And its made me think about one tree hill again.

I started watching it from season 5, so really I was only there for the last four seasons...so ater the characters had left high school...

But i grew up with them at an important time in my life, and 9 o'clock on mondays were my favorite days of the week. It wasn't that it was a great show (which imo it was for so many reasons) but it was an exc...
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im trying

Posted by bronwen wild on Wednesday, March 19, 2014,

im trying to get better
honestly I am
I've been getting up at 6 am so i can struggle to get fit without anyone seeing
I've been buying myself makeup so I can make myself feel pretty
I listen to music that makes me happy
And watch shows that either I enjoy for the dumb love story ( srsly kdrama is the best if you just want to switch off and watch some romantic crap) or because they are interesting to me
I read good books
I dress in a way i like
I dont let myself cut
I look after my skin
I'm eati...
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igvrx7xze7e

Posted by bronwen wild on Saturday, March 15, 2014,

So,
i always used to believe that the way out was to forgive, right?
ever since I read L4A and i thought about alaska and pudge and the scars we leave behind, i figured pudge was right, the only way out of the labyrinth is to forgive.
... but mmy suffering is not brought by people but situation. and I cannot forgive a situation, or at least i do not want to. too long have i been stuck between four walls in the middle of a ten mile cirumfrence in anny directioin of sheer nothingness... and the...
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hey yola

Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, March 9, 2014,

I guess i just...

Fuck yola im scared

I dont want to live an 'okay' life

I dont want to work a job i dont like

'Just to get by'

I dont want to eat things

'To keep the weight off'

I dont want to not like things

'Because they're different'

I dont want to live a life half empty

I dont want to do things

'Because thats how life is'

Because i dont understand that

I never have

Why

Why is it like that?

Who said so?

I dont want to be scared of life

And i dont want to be scared that i will never do anything ...
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YOOOLLLAAAA

Posted by bronwen wild on Tuesday, March 4, 2014,

In the first time in aagggessss i have had an actually really good day
but not like because i've been out or because i've done anything special... just because it was a day
and it's so awesome
like today is pancake day and we made lots of yummy pancakes
progress on moving to cardiff is happening
i talked with cara from careers wales and she showed me loads of really cool and useful stuff on the careers wales site
and then after pancakes and shizzle i have spent the evening watching shitty korean...
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