Browsing Archive: August, 2014

My father. A poem.

Posted by bronwen wild on Wednesday, August 27, 2014,

I get letters from my father 140 characters at a time
his messages engraved into a wall lost in my time line
notifications my only indication he is, in fact still alive
who could say if this pretense of a prolonged relationship
is any more stable than the post apocalyptic world in which i once lived
where heart beats were time bombs and every breath was a sin
these days our words are coated in their limitations
the awful taste of stale air and awkward interactions lies heavy between us
Often I fi...
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i get real tired of other peoples bullshit

Posted by bronwen wild on Tuesday, August 26, 2014,

you see
people dont really regard anxiety as an anything
they dont not acknowledge it
but they also dont acknowledge it
its like they nothing it

because when you tell someone you have anxiety you will get one of two responses

number one goes a little bit like

"Oh, have you tried this really simple and obvious thing that totally doesn't work but I was worried about a test once so I totally understand and have been through the same"

And number two is a bit simpler

"Oh."

and thats it

honestly

im star...
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some thoughts on a miserable sunday afternoon

Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, August 24, 2014,

I have a hole in my heart
not a literal one
thank goodness
just one of those shitty metaphorical ones
but the weird thing is
its not my chest that hurts
its like
if i were to tell anyone
i would say there's a weight on my chest
and when I think about it
thats the part of my body i clutch to
but its not the part that hurts
my heart does not ache
my head does
and the pit of my stomach twists and churns and aches
so what exactly do I call that?

I feel so lonely
but I do not crave human interaction
I enjo...
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thoguhts

Posted by bronwen wild on Tuesday, August 12, 2014,

you see
when people talk of depression and suicide
when they urge people to talk to people or to get help
promising you that someone cares
i always felt like that was a bit.... off
for me anyway
because well no one really gave me any help
they just distanced themselves from me
the doctors didnt help
and the therapists did nothing but more damage

i fixed myself alone
no friends
no partner
and ONE family member
and to be fair to him he's a saint
but he doesnt understand a thing
and helped me with my ...
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i've made it

Posted by bronwen wild on Friday, August 8, 2014,

so,
sometimes i feel really crap about myself
like i just feel like a massive fuck up failure waste of space
but then
i remember that i've stopped 5 different people from killing themselves
and i feel like that is important
those five people could have killed themselves
but didnt
and i helped that
i helped them
and i feel like maybe im not such a waste after all
because i have plenty of time to make myself proud
and i helped make it so that those five kids have that chance too
and that can nev...
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