Browsing Archive: November, 2013

happy birthday me

Posted by bronwen wild on Thursday, November 28, 2013,

my 15th i spent at school, then at band practice, only to go home, and sleep.
I spent my sweet 16 at home, in bed, with my boyfriend. i had a few presents and a cake.
my 17th was spent in the cold with a friend. there were meant to be 5 of us, the rest of the bailed.
it's my 18th in a week. my dad wont be here, my brother hasnt bothered to get me anything and i dont have a singe plan.

im so tired of people asking why i dont like christmas and why i dont like my birthday. my birthday is just a...
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november 23rd 2013

Posted by bronwen wild on Saturday, November 23, 2013,

today, i am tired.
today, all seems lost.
today, i thought, like yesterday, talking to my friend, you know, doing what i always used to avoid, would help.
today, i was, like yesterday, wrong.
because although she is my best friend, i am not hers.
because although I am alone, she is not.
because she has Lucy and im just, me.
Im not angry at her.
Im angry at me.
well no.
im not even that
im just sad
and alone
and thinking of quitting
thinking its not worth it
thinking that it all just seems pointle...
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there was a boy, he used to be my bestfriend.

Posted by bronwen wild on Thursday, November 21, 2013,

There is a boy, well, i guess i should call him a man now... who can always see when im in pain. he can tell when im not even lieing, he can see it when we're not even talking.
sure, my being not okay is a given these days, and by these days i mean these past five years, and sure of those he has known me for three but yet, for the last year and a half we have barely spoken.
there was a time when him being able to read me like a book was given. but i could read him better. but, like i said, we...
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aaaaazsdftgyhuijol

Posted by bronwen wild on Friday, November 15, 2013,

My father drinks to drown his sorrows. My brother drinks to ease them. My mother drank to hide from her troubles, my uncle drinks to forget them. My grandparents drink as if its not killing them and my aunt drinks as if it is normal. My family drink as if its not what caused them all to hate eachother and then they look at me and expect me to join them.

When I was younger I would watch my family drink. I would watch them transform from the people i knew into the monsters they became. I watche...
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this is a rant about kpop because SHINee won today and I have emotions.

Posted by bronwen wild on Friday, November 15, 2013,

okay so i get asked a lot why i love kpop so much and i've never really had a very good answer because its hard to put into words, but today just managed to display so clearly what it is i love about kpop so much...and well i've kind of been crying all day because of it. so, with much ranting about how proud i am... here is why i love kpop.

what im about to say goes for pretty much all artists in kpop.. this is just a shining (heh) example...and has also caused me to cry a lot today.

Today, ...
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twice in one day, impressive, no?

Posted by bronwen wild on Thursday, November 14, 2013,

you know what I hate?
these posts you see online that say shit like "life is what you make it" or "The future is in your hands" or "only you have the power to change your life"
and just in general people telling you that you have power over your life and that it's your fault that your life sucks.
And okay those arent exactly the quotes I mean. Those are kind of okay. I just see a butt ton of ones on tumblr and facebook that actually say something more along the lines of this rant, but since th...
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asdfghjkkl

Posted by bronwen wild on Wednesday, November 13, 2013,

it sucks
i wasnt even good at trying to kill myself

the first time the lack of air scared me
the second time i didnt bleed enough
the third time I held my pills and booze too well
the fourth was the same.

I heard tales of kids dieing from taking 11 pain killers

I took nearly 20 and it didnt even make me sick

The second time I felt woozy for a couple of days from the lack of blood

and I gave myself a hint of liver damage on attempt three

attempt four was my most serious...

I drank half a bottle of ...
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no but

Posted by bronwen wild on Friday, November 8, 2013,

at the moment i'm not very bad
like
im bored out of my mind with nothing to do
but im not bad
i dont really dislike myself
and i'm thinking about the future

but
im still not okay
or like wanting to be here
so whaat does it take?
because I dont understand
I have worked alone through most of my problems
but im still alone
and no one cares
no one cares at all
the only time i ever have anything nice said to me is when i write fucking fanfic, because hey who doesn't love that?
and what does it say abou...
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hey

Posted by bronwen wild on Wednesday, November 6, 2013,

so I have this thing
well i guess that makes it sound way more dramatic than it is
but right
i freaking love to sing
like
any chance I get i sing
but never in front of people
or when people are at home
like i'lll sing along to music
but i wont
sing
no one as far as i know
has ever heard me
sing
but like
i've always wondered if i'm actually any good or not
because somedays
i'll sing and i'll be like
"daym i smashed that"
other days i think i sound like a dieing whale
but
i've always wondered
be...
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so

Posted by bronwen wild on Tuesday, November 5, 2013,

man
i dont know
like
my friend was sad yesterday
like
for reasons similar to why im always like this
and i was telling her these things
and like
in my head i was just like
"man this is such bullshit"
but I believed it
I believed it for her
because that's what she deserves
and aint that fucked up?
no not that i think she deserves it moron
that i think she deserves it
but not me
and like
so here's the thing
it's made me think
what if that all any of it is
like
what if "normal" are just the things...
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Browsing Archive: November, 2013