Browsing Archive: May, 2013

and if I die tonight would you even cry

Posted by bronwen wild on Wednesday, May 29, 2013,

I havent attempted suicide in over a year
But I fear that could change soon
I
I
I dont know
I wish I had someone to talk to or someone to tell
but I dont have any friends I trust enough
I dont know anyone who'd care
But I need
I need
I need
I need someone who cares
no
not even cares
someone who knows
someone to listen
Because its all so fucked up
and im so alone
so alone
and
I
just
dont
know how to live
I dont want to die
but im so scared
I need someone to tell me it'll be okay
that they wont leav...
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ffseewqw4seveesecccdfghkhbghfdsewzqwszedfghkghbkf

Posted by bronwen wild on Tuesday, May 28, 2013,

so
comic con was amazing
I spent too much money and met too many awesome people to fit into two days
but
on the downside
not a single anxiety attack
why is this bad?
because, in a hall with thousands of people that was hot and at one point had no exit i was for the most part fine.
But now im home and thinking about college my anxiety is back
college is the only reason for my anxiety, its making me sick, just like school did.
help

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sometimes I feel so insane and unfixable I really believe everyone would be better without me

Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, May 19, 2013,

its taking over again
how do I stop it?
Im scared
and alone
and I honestly dont know what to do anymore
Like is it this hard for everyone?
Cause some days, getting out of bed is an achievement
others im fine
but I have no power over it
I have no way to stop it
I dont know how
Cause breathing doesn't fix it
neither does telling myself im fine
And im tired of the headaches
the belly ache
feeling sick
chewing my nails so much they bleed
biting the inside of my mouth until it hurts to talk
Clawing at...
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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, May 12, 2013,

You know I forgot how much deep cuts hurt while they heal. Cause the ones on my legs didnt hurt much and the ones on my arms had been pretty pathetic but these, not bad... Safe to say my shoulders are well on their way to matching.
My anxiety is awful.
Its Rivaling how bad it was when I left school.
Like
Its awful
I didnt go in for my main course all last week
The thought alone, let alone the act of going (which resulted in me having a panic attack in the college car park, asking padi take me hom...
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happy birthday mammy

Posted by bronwen wild on Tuesday, May 7, 2013,

i fucking miss you

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CFGHUk

Posted by bronwen wild on Wednesday, May 1, 2013,

So, I havent been doing well recently,
And I cut.
Again
But thats not news
I just
On tuesday
In english
kelly saw the plaster I put over the ones on my wrist and after her asking what happened and me lying she goes
"You look like an emo"
Really? And the scars all up my arm didn't give that impression already?
Gah, like I know she doesn't know and whatever, and I know her views on cutting (Yeah safe to say she doesn't get it)
But my lord. Why is "emo" such a bad thing anyway since its mostly used...
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