Browsing Archive: March, 2013
Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, March 31, 2013,
I feel so very alone
I feel unloved and irrelevant
like, I could vanish and no one would notice, let alone care
Im not suicidal, no, but im not against dieing either, my self harming has started, but only when my head wont be quiet. I'm trying to stay okay, and I am most of the time, I just get so tired, and I just, stop being okay sometimes.
But its okay cause if im alone im not bothering anyone, right? I dont mean to worry people. I dont mean to bother them.
Sometimes im just too weak... I ge...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Wednesday, March 27, 2013,
its nearly 3 am again, and here i am, feeling.... empty.... I guess.
I miss... love, being in love.... I miss her.... I miss the time before i fucked everything up....
I miss having people close to me who understand....
understand that this stuff isnt a choice, that if it was dont you think i'd choose not to?
I miss people who already know about me, so I dont have to see their faces or hear their "im sorries"
I miss having people who know about my belly, and who remind me to breath
I miss feel...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Monday, March 25, 2013,
okay, today i stop caring about her.
For two years everything bad in her life has somehow been to do with me.
She hurt me more than she'll ever care to know.
so today, im going to stop checking her blogs.
she's the one who left, I tried. she left.
i'm done now.
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Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, March 24, 2013,
So I keep telling myself I nee to tell you the good stuff so I have a record of that too
So yesterday was good.
It was nothing special i guess,
I mean I didn't even leave the house :3
But I was on skype/ tinychat with Gina and other people for ... *Counts on fingers* around 9 hours :3
Which sounds like overkill but it was awesome!
Jake played amnesia while me and Gina watched and though I've never played all the way though I've watched Jenn's play throughs and Kellie's live stream (xD) to know...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Monday, March 18, 2013,
But I have no idea what I need to talk about.... God im so un-okay.
You know
I often wonder what people think I mean when I say I have constant anxiety.
I wonder if they think im being dramatic. That I dont have anxiety at all. that I just say it for attention.
I wonder if they think, that okay, maybe I get anxious sometimes under high stress but "all the time" is just being dramatic.
I wonder if they think it means that I feel anxious in large crowds and when im made to speak in front of peopl...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Thursday, March 14, 2013,
right so Im pretty sure I know who's reading this now... and If it is you... I kinda wish you wouldn't....you'll only worry or think about trying to help... when we both know im not really your problem anymore...
But I am 99.8% sure we're not going to finish this course.
My anxiety is horrible, I slept until like three yesterday even though I fell asleep around 2... I just get so tired...
I messed up my shoulder pretty bad aha, but they'll match now! so yay for that!
Im going to MCM though
Kel...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Monday, March 11, 2013,
but at least i've stopped shaking
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Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, March 10, 2013,
-curls into a ball-
I .... I d.... Im sorry
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Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, March 10, 2013,
happy mothers day mammy
I miss you
Its weird, its been happening more recently,
You know, forgetting your not here... I mean its not often by any means.... just more than never
I still remember the first time it happened properly
I was round nicks, I think it was around Christmas time or something and it was getting late and all of a sudden a had this thought of "Shit I should ring mum to let her know where I am/ whats happening"
And then it hit me, and it was one of those moments where you trul...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Saturday, March 9, 2013,
Seriously who the fuck are you? Twice in one week? I'm trying to fall apart here, I dont need an audience.
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Posted by bronwen wild on Saturday, March 9, 2013,
I'm sorry
I dont think we're going to keep fighting this much longer
I'm trying
but its so hard
how did it all go so wrong
goodnight
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Posted by bronwen wild on Thursday, March 7, 2013,
pleasecanthisstopnowohgodifeellikeimgoingtodiehowdidilivewiththisbefore???
im so un okay its not even funny
i dont know what to do
I have no one who'd care
I dont know what to do
help me please
I dont want to want to die anymore
imgoingnowohgodpleasegoawayhowdoImakeitstop?ithurtstobreath
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Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, March 3, 2013,
and im really fucking alone
oh well I guess I'll fall asleep listening to lie again, Yong-Wha and Jong-hyun's voices make me feel better
ahahaha spiraling depression and increasing belly pain/anxiety!
*edit* again with the person here yesterday.... do i know you? and could you please leave if I do...***
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