Browsing Archive: August, 2013

i dont even know... thats fucking everywhere

Posted by bronwen wild on Friday, August 30, 2013,

Hey yola, so I gotta ask you what the hell is going on? cause like for the past year and a half I've been getting a view on here like... once... evrey few weeks.... if that... now i'm getting views several times a week and its like 3-4 unique visitors... and like just whuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut

how

did

this

happen?

because like, well one: who in their right minds wants to read the angsty rambles of a fucked up 18 year old? and two: how is jesus balls did you find me? Do i come up in searches, if so whic...
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사랑해

Posted by bronwen wild on Tuesday, August 27, 2013,

Hey yola

so
the thing is
its been nearly 5 years since things 'officially' went to hell.
And for the last three there have been very few moments when I would mind dieing
maybe im not suicidal
but if i were in a situation where i was going to die
i dont think i'd have done a whole lot to change that

and you know
i stare at the same four walls I have for the last two and a half years
and feel the scars on my arms
and look at the place where I sat as my parents built the house around me
and i ca...
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diubwpiusdvjibpadijsdvj

Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, August 25, 2013,

Do you get those moods where you dont want to sleep?
well im in one now
im kind of tired
but i dont want to sleep
in all honesty i want to go explore outside
but that requires trousers and shoes and thats a level of comitment i dont think i can reach right now
but i figure while im here i might as well talk to you about something
so
here goes

right, so you know, well maybe you dont ha, that im like supper indecisive...
well i thought of something toddaý
its less that im indecisive
its more tha...
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wel...

Posted by bronwen wild on Friday, August 23, 2013,

how did it get to be 1 am?? it was like ten last time i checked.
college enrolement tomorrow or should i say later?
im kinda wrried
oh i got the grade i wanted in english!!!
I OFFICIALLY HAVE A GCSE BABY!!!
weeeeeeeeeeee
ugh i dont eve know. im tired and i came here to talk about something else but i realised it was dumb so i changed my mind.
blargle something about kpop i feel sick wish me luck oh good lord ineed to sneeze
goodnight yola xxx

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kpop an d panic attacks

Posted by bronwen wild on Wednesday, August 21, 2013,

Hey yola
god i dont even know
i just started crying and i cant seem to stop
i've been randomly crying a lot lately
and i keep randomly getting panic attacks
and the shakes
and they dont last long
but
litterally nothing is triggering them
yet here i am
having an anxiet attack
will full on hyperventalating (how the fuck do you even spell that fucking word?)
And crying
and I cantt seem to stop
because every time i stop
it just starts again
and i dont know why
all I was doing is reading, listening...
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I dont even know man this is what happens when I have no one to talk to for over a year and a half, I go insane :D

Posted by bronwen wild on Wednesday, August 7, 2013,

I am proud of how well i have avoided urges of late.
Its been weeks
I think I may cave soon though
They're there all the time
and I know it does nothing
but I also dont get worse from it
and for a few seconds
or whatever
it stops
or starts
i dont know
like
its all stops
but also
its like a promise
to myself
like
just hold on
just wait a little longer
just a little deeper
just a little closer
just a little bit

more

I spend so much time wondering why i cut
and how to explain it to others
but there a...
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esj

Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, August 4, 2013,

i dont even know anymore
im just so unhappy
only ever not doing things because i dont want to cause a fuss
im tired
and thanks to sioned only all too aware of how alone i am
so
look after yourself if i go
if what i fear becomes true
i am not sorry, but i may well miss you
but this is what we have been training for all these years.

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Browsing Archive: August, 2013