Browsing Archive: August, 2012
Posted by bronwen wild on Thursday, August 30, 2012,
No thats fine dont feel you need to reply
or even give the standard brb
s'cool
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Posted by bronwen wild on Thursday, August 30, 2012,
BLLLAAAAARARGFLARGGAHHHHHHHHHHHFUCKINGDOCTORS!!!! FUCK YOU!
Okay
so yeah
doctors today
consensus ?
Until you're 18 you have to suffer with your mental illness alone, unhelped and we also wont take it seriously
but here let me talk to you in a quiet condescending voice while I tell you about the useless uni drop outs with no real qualifications we can send you to that'll fuck you up even more
OH
and since Im feeling nice
have these pills
which I dont think will really help
but
You know
You look ...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Thursday, August 30, 2012,
SQUEEEEEEEEE ^_^ Just ordered my wig :D :D :D
I could buy the whole fricken cosplay today xD
But I kinda like having some money in my account. :3
BUT WOOO
Gonna go order a wig cap since I THINK this one comes with one but... not 100% Sure :L
I am a happy ^_^
(Only like two weeks to wait for it now xD)
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Posted by bronwen wild on Wednesday, August 29, 2012,
*sigh*
I hope the doctor can give me somat tomorrow
cause I mean
Otherwise... Im fucked
And no one cares
thats the fun thing
well no
Jake cares bless his soul
But he doesn't get it
and neither dose anyone else
no one else seems to get how badly this affects me and always has
because I just dont talk about it
And im only making anything of it now because its becoming crippling
Like leaving my room is scary
And I really do just lose the ability to communicate and function normally after going out...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Wednesday, August 29, 2012,
I just had a full on breakdown
Lordeh
havent had one of those in a while
I mean it had everything
Rocking back and forth
zoning out
crying
hair pulling
Almost cutting (didnt though so am pretty proud)
panicking about nothing
Wondering around
hyperventilating
Not knowing what the fuck to do with myself
getting scared
It was fun!
Good lord I would like a hug
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Posted by bronwen wild on Wednesday, August 29, 2012,
Me? anxiety? noooo
I didnt just hide under my blanket while frantically breathing and repeating "I dont get signal in my room" after getting a phone call.. and quarter of an hour later my heart totally isnt still calming down....
^_^
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Posted by bronwen wild on Wednesday, August 29, 2012,
Amala is still up on tumblr
good lord she makes my life better I swear!
I wish I was going to Alcon so I could meet her! D:
But oh well untill then I shall love her from afar too awkward to ever say anything to her
xD
God 5 am is so much better with her awake or her queue at least (Im not sure which it is she has work (yeah I know about her life) tomorrow so probably queue xD)
Im sorry I had to tell something I just dxfcgvhbnkml love her
OH
while im here
cut my hair
pretty happy with it I Must ...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Tuesday, August 28, 2012,
Talking to jake
eating baby bell
listening to...whatever the fuck is playing right now on my playlist
have a doctors appointment on thursday
Have mode my wall of doodles better
S'a good day ^_^
OH! And I have finally decided what my first cosplay will be
its a total cop out cause im buying all of it
but no fucks were given
like im going to make a fucking black skirt and while shirt just for this
S'gonna be cool
even found a decent wig
Which made me happy xD
AND there is a cosplay meet up everym...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Monday, August 27, 2012,
Hey yola
so really
I only have one thing to say today
and its pretty fucking simple
I miss my mum
I miss her
And im so tried of feeling bad or embarrassed or whatever for missing her
My whole life was effectively ruined by her death
It hasn't been
but it could have
And She never got to do any of the real mum things with me
or any of the big mum things with either of us
And thats unfair
Cause like she wasn't there when I had my heart broken
And she wasn't there to do the mum things that go along w...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, August 26, 2012,
Finally I apear to be having a lucid moment
not sure how long it will last of course
but I thought I should at least write down some of the things that have me worried of late
number one
is
eh
TMI for other humans really but ya know since I havent had sex since febuary and my period is like a good 3 weeks late... im... oh whats the word... worried
But you know
They said everything down there was fine right?
and its not like doctors get this stuff wrong
right?
I had a scan, I'm fine. the pain has st...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, August 26, 2012,
Sorry everyone im ignoring
And sorry everyone Im kinda halfheartedly talking to
Its getting better
but
im just not right yet
Im watching buffy though
So thats a good sign
im sorry
last time I went like this no one was talking to me anyway
so no one noticed
I just sat and watched avatar, and torchwood and doctor who and buffy (Finally finishing buffy now I have VLC again)
I'll talk to you soon maybe
I have important things i need to tell someone
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Posted by bronwen wild on Saturday, August 25, 2012,
Hey,
I miss you
Like we still talk
and you're still my friend
but remember when Pipa dupmed you the...second time?
And I said you're my best friend
Totally meant it
why yes
you are number two on my list of guy that have hurt me the most
but still when im sad i can talk to you and its like none of that crap matters as much
And yes I am fully aware that you're probably out with your girlfriend or your friends who dont live several hundred miles away
But I still miss you
And could do with talking to ...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Friday, August 24, 2012,
ugly
depressed
mute
sorry still in a weird mood
theres one person I would talk to but hes out somewhere
so bye
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Posted by bronwen wild on Thursday, August 23, 2012,
sorry to anyone i ignore dont talk to for the next while... where as in every other aspect of my life things are geting better my anxiety is awful. and i now get into moods were i dont want to and cant talk. the length of the mood varies.
bye
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Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, August 19, 2012,
Heh Its been 6 months since I got my tongue pierced!
Crazy how much has changed since that day.
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Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, August 19, 2012,
Heyyo yola
Am only really here cause I cba to go out and sing (yeah xD Thats what I do when Im feeling low these days xD back to the good ol days with that :L) And my notebook is *looks around* well I dont know where it is
And I just watched Famiglia which always give me all these feels
and I just spent the last of my money on a pair of boots!
I cant wait for them to arrive
They've grown on me
when I first found them earlier I was like... Meh they're cool..
But now I actually cant wait to try the...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, August 19, 2012,
Heyyo yola
Lord
I went to watch Brave yesterday
AMAZING FILM LOVED IT!
But the end
fucking hell
SAD
Like cause Merida (No idea how to spell her name) is just there like
I'm sorry mum
I just want my mummy back
over and over and I was just sat there with tears streaming down my face
Good lord
but its a brilliant film
AND THERE IS NO LOVE INTEREST
ITS JUST ABOUT SCCOTS SCOTTING AND A BADDASS GIRL WHO IS A LITTLE SELFISH!
I love it!
^_^
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Posted by bronwen wild on Friday, August 17, 2012,
Hello
so this is a post about a lot of things
I have a feeling its going to be quite long
And im tired as balls so it probably wont be coherent at all
but yeah
on with the rambling
First off
I was sat in the car and thought of quite a good androgynous name I like
Its really common but I think thats also why I like it
But yeah
Sam
I like that name
and its good because if i look like a girl one day its a girls name
if I look like a boy another
Boys name
So yeah, I mean i dont have the balls to ask ...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Friday, August 17, 2012,
hello lots of important and good things happened while away
im not here to whine about any of that
this is a note to future me
NEVER put on weight ever again
it makes boobs get big
which makes Bra's uncomfortable
which means you may actually have to leave it off
Which makes you realize all over again just how much you HATE having boobs and how fucking weird they feel
never ever getting this pudgy again
how the fuck did i cope being this size this time last year?
and how in hell did assholes thi...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Saturday, August 11, 2012,
Why am i so sad?
im not depressed exactly
im just feeling sad
i guess my musical choice isnt helping xD
bright eyes and breaking benjamin
I have new pretty clothes! they're cool and i like
One top is a bit girly
well no
its girly
but fuck it i liked it
and if im going to be androgynous for three years some pink wont kill me
Bleh
Going to Cornwall tomorrow
not sure if i want to go
i mean sure cat, Craig small baby type child! AWESOME!
but cornwall, a week, no internet, old people = padi... EH! CB...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Thursday, August 9, 2012,
Gah, been crying a lot today
And every single
I miss my mammy
Feel has been on overdrive
Shes been gone nearly two years
Yet I miss her just as much if not more (But in a different way) as when she'd only just gone
But you can't tell people that
cause its like people dont expect me to still miss her
Or rather that my missing her shouldn't affect me as much anymore
But to those people I would kindly like to ask them how they would feel of their mothers hadn't seen them to their 15th birthday
or e...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Wednesday, August 8, 2012,
hmm sitting here a good few hours after buying them... im wondering if maybe i shouldn't have bought those clothes
But eh
I like them
and i do need new clothes
i had the money
and i was just planning to spend it on anime
clothes are far better
its 7:30 i would like to sleep now please
Oh and happy birthday granny xx
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Posted by bronwen wild on Wednesday, August 8, 2012,
I REALLY need to stop watching Parlé videos
or just youtube in general
Fuck im miserable.
Gonna go sit outside
sorry I totally didn't come here to be miserable
xD
But its me right?
What did you expect
Had to laugh earlier though xD
Talk to you later yola x
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Posted by bronwen wild on Tuesday, August 7, 2012,
*sits crying*
Today has been a bad day
God im falling back into my depression
And watching Kelly and Jenn videos isnt helping
Like them and Twin and Jenna
I just want what they've got
They have a group of friends that love them and that they can be totally derpy with
And they have relationships that work
Admittedly Jenn and Kelly's to my knowledge has had less glitches than Twin and Jenna's
But I think thats what makes twin and nova so sweet... The fact that they did break up for a while
But a...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Monday, August 6, 2012,
Wow uh wow.
Um
okay
never again bronwen
Everyone we've trusted has hurt us
from now on
we're not letting anyone in.
im done with this shit
it fucking well hurts too much
Why dose everyone have to let you down?
you give them a second chance and you're made to look like an idiot
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Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, August 5, 2012,
Posted by bronwen wild on Sunday, August 5, 2012,
I like meeting new people.
I like that they dont know me, and the dont know my story or whats happened to me
so for a while I get to act like I have a normal family. And that I have a mum and a dad... I get to act like I was never depressed or had any suicidal thoughts.
And thats nice
Its nice to have people who dont know how broken you are.
I mean most of my friends dont know just exactly how broken I am
But like new people have no clue
and I like that
cause lets face it
im pretty fucking broken...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Friday, August 3, 2012,
Heyy yooola again
So got back from the CYC ressy today
Was actually alright
The first night was .. bad
I was suicidal and miserable and REALLY wanted to just come home.
but yesterday was fun.
I made friends with a girl called Freya. whos pretty damn epic. shes 14 but really acts older.
And this guy Ryan whos awesome and JUST AS NERDY AS I AM!
like we sat all through yesterday just asking eachother if we like this or liked that and it was creepy how similar out likes were
And a guy called Caradog (I...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Friday, August 3, 2012,
Hey yola
so I have a lot of things I want to talk about
but, before i talk about any of that i want to talk a little about Esther Earl.
Esther was a nerdfighter. And a really sweet girl. she was funny, intelligent, honest. but most of all she was kind. She made vlogs telling people how she was a fraud because we thought she was strong and brave, but she said she got angry and upset sometimes because her illness frustrated her.
But she was this kind and funny person who affected and touched the ...
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Posted by bronwen wild on Wednesday, August 1, 2012,
BLEH!
Gotta go do some stupid thing I promised adam i'd go to tomorrow
i totally thought it was next week as well
fuck everything
don wanna go
therell be new people
and i'll have to do stuff
and its going to be scary
and im high on panic attacks atm
I mean I even have my diazapam packed
T_T
Dun waanna gooo
Belh
Wont be back till friday
My only form of comunication to the world will be my phone T_T
I feel sorry for all those i feel i can text without bugging them
If I get miserable or bored
I feel ...
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