Another wonderful ramble from me xD
Posted by bronwen wild on Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Evening yola
again not here for any real reason
less angsty than normal
I read a book last night
one of 15 i bought yesterday
And well its mine
its perfect
and made me cry
and its perfect
and im never telling anyone about it
Its my imperial Affliction
And after reading it
Like with all sad ad heartbreaking things I emailed mum
Cause I dont know
its like pretending to talk to her
but, like safer
and less crazy
I know I wont get a reply
but i can still talk to her the same as if she were alive through email.
But yeah
And I told her about being trans, or well thinking im trans
And wrote out the story to her
And I guess not only did it help me understand to write it out to someone like her
It like solidified to myself that this isnt some bullshit faze built out of hormones.
Cause theres no effing way I would have told her otherwise.
Cause like I was scared to tell mum I was gay
And never did, cause I wasn't sure
So surly if there wasn't at least one part of me that was sure about this then I wouldn't have told her
So im a little more sure now.
but ima take it slow
cause last week I was all
BUY BINDERS AND NEW CLOTHES AND CUT OFF MAH HAIR NAOW!
And now im just like.
im male
i knows it
its gonna creep people out to just spring this upon them just like
Sup, my boobs are squished down and im wearing all guy clothes
call me Bron and use male pronous please.
thats what twin did and he said it was hard on his friend and even harder on his family
I dont wanna do that
I wanna
well I dont want to tell them
I just like want it to not be a big deal
I'd like to just be like
"oh yeah im a guy"
And for people to be like
Yeah thats fair
But of course it cant people flip shit at people for being gay!
let alone not being the correct gender!
Though I suppose a lot of my friends/ family know Branwen. so they'll at least have heard of it before and will you know maybe be a little more accepting.
But eh
Ima give it a month
If I still want to buy a binder just as bad then
Then I''ll buy one
And then I'll wait and see how that feels/ goes
And if I still want to cut my hair
I'll cut my hair
(though its not too much of a manly style, it could be taken either way which is why I like it)
And then if im still dead set and happy with this
I'll get some clothes
take it nice and slow
Cause I know my mind
But I also know how much of a cunt my mind can be
So ima take it slow
But by the end of summer
I should know for sure
And I MIGHT have an idea about wtf I wanna do about it
cause atm
no idea
And i dont think its even worth talking about on here
So yeah sorry for rabmling
But no one will read this anyways so oh well xD
Bye yoola xx
again not here for any real reason
less angsty than normal
I read a book last night
one of 15 i bought yesterday
And well its mine
its perfect
and made me cry
and its perfect
and im never telling anyone about it
Its my imperial Affliction
And after reading it
Like with all sad ad heartbreaking things I emailed mum
Cause I dont know
its like pretending to talk to her
but, like safer
and less crazy
I know I wont get a reply
but i can still talk to her the same as if she were alive through email.
But yeah
And I told her about being trans, or well thinking im trans
And wrote out the story to her
And I guess not only did it help me understand to write it out to someone like her
It like solidified to myself that this isnt some bullshit faze built out of hormones.
Cause theres no effing way I would have told her otherwise.
Cause like I was scared to tell mum I was gay
And never did, cause I wasn't sure
So surly if there wasn't at least one part of me that was sure about this then I wouldn't have told her
So im a little more sure now.
but ima take it slow
cause last week I was all
BUY BINDERS AND NEW CLOTHES AND CUT OFF MAH HAIR NAOW!
And now im just like.
im male
i knows it
its gonna creep people out to just spring this upon them just like
Sup, my boobs are squished down and im wearing all guy clothes
call me Bron and use male pronous please.
thats what twin did and he said it was hard on his friend and even harder on his family
I dont wanna do that
I wanna
well I dont want to tell them
I just like want it to not be a big deal
I'd like to just be like
"oh yeah im a guy"
And for people to be like
Yeah thats fair
But of course it cant people flip shit at people for being gay!
let alone not being the correct gender!
Though I suppose a lot of my friends/ family know Branwen. so they'll at least have heard of it before and will you know maybe be a little more accepting.
But eh
Ima give it a month
If I still want to buy a binder just as bad then
Then I''ll buy one
And then I'll wait and see how that feels/ goes
And if I still want to cut my hair
I'll cut my hair
(though its not too much of a manly style, it could be taken either way which is why I like it)
And then if im still dead set and happy with this
I'll get some clothes
take it nice and slow
Cause I know my mind
But I also know how much of a cunt my mind can be
So ima take it slow
But by the end of summer
I should know for sure
And I MIGHT have an idea about wtf I wanna do about it
cause atm
no idea
And i dont think its even worth talking about on here
So yeah sorry for rabmling
But no one will read this anyways so oh well xD
Bye yoola xx
