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Posted by bronwen wild on Friday, November 15, 2013
My father drinks to drown his sorrows. My brother drinks to ease them. My mother drank to hide from her troubles, my uncle drinks to forget them. My grandparents drink as if its not killing them and my aunt drinks as if it is normal. My family drink as if its not what caused them all to hate eachother and then they look at me and expect me to join them.
When I was younger I would watch my family drink. I would watch them transform from the people i knew into the monsters they became. I watched my mother cry, and scream and shout, I watched my father raise his voice and my grandfather proclaim what waists of space his children were. I would hear tails of my grandparents, from back in the day, where alcohol cause broken bones and fractured skulls and children that learned the same. When I was younger I would sit in the dark afriad of the people who claimed to love me. Fear that they would hurt me, but more that they would hurt themselves. as I grew older I learnt that they were the same thing.
as a teenager I learnt of harsh words said in cruel toungs tainted by alcohol. I learnt to take them with with a pinch of salt and to not fight back because they were veterens of assult. i learnt how to hide and how to block it out, and of how the temptation pulled.
As I've grown up I've watched my family fall apart. Lives ruined, relationships ruined, and all for whats at the bottom of a bottle. So why would you even bother to ask why I dont want to follow their path, when my skin crawls at the smell of beer and drunk people make me cower in fear. I have seen the damage brought by drunken hands. I have felt the pain, bared the hurt, taken the fall. So do not ask me why I care not for the twisted alure of drunken escapism. If I wish to be a coward, well, then I guess I would join in.
~~~~~
My family drink a lot. And I have always hated it. Its yet another thing I dont understand. I mean, i've been drunk a couple of times (okay well once) but I dont see why or how people ccan let it ruin their life... because the escape isnt even that good. You want to get out of your own head and not be able to think try depression, or the come down of an anxiety attack. Why do people crave it? It doesnt even taste nice and it doesnt really do the trick. So how do people get to the point where it ruines lives and causes arguments and makes you ill. What is the attraction? And dont even get me started on how much drunk people scare me, mainly men, because the men in my family while drunk are terrifying and on more than several occasions I have felt in danger around them. Not to say I havent also felt in much danger around the women, but with them it was more because of their words than because I thought they were going to hit me into next month.
So it kind of pisses me off when people get weird with me about myy dislike of drinking... I mean i dont mind people drinking... if I care about you I may ask you to not drink too much, but why is that a bad thing? And I sure as hell if I go to a party or something wont get all upity and like be all "can you pls not drink around me omg" Im at a fuckin party, im not an asshole... but I may well choose not to go to the party.
so yes, sorry for ranting.... but dad is drunk because hes sad...my brother is drinking...and I have a party to go to tomorrow... so ... fun...
When I was younger I would watch my family drink. I would watch them transform from the people i knew into the monsters they became. I watched my mother cry, and scream and shout, I watched my father raise his voice and my grandfather proclaim what waists of space his children were. I would hear tails of my grandparents, from back in the day, where alcohol cause broken bones and fractured skulls and children that learned the same. When I was younger I would sit in the dark afriad of the people who claimed to love me. Fear that they would hurt me, but more that they would hurt themselves. as I grew older I learnt that they were the same thing.
as a teenager I learnt of harsh words said in cruel toungs tainted by alcohol. I learnt to take them with with a pinch of salt and to not fight back because they were veterens of assult. i learnt how to hide and how to block it out, and of how the temptation pulled.
As I've grown up I've watched my family fall apart. Lives ruined, relationships ruined, and all for whats at the bottom of a bottle. So why would you even bother to ask why I dont want to follow their path, when my skin crawls at the smell of beer and drunk people make me cower in fear. I have seen the damage brought by drunken hands. I have felt the pain, bared the hurt, taken the fall. So do not ask me why I care not for the twisted alure of drunken escapism. If I wish to be a coward, well, then I guess I would join in.
~~~~~
My family drink a lot. And I have always hated it. Its yet another thing I dont understand. I mean, i've been drunk a couple of times (okay well once) but I dont see why or how people ccan let it ruin their life... because the escape isnt even that good. You want to get out of your own head and not be able to think try depression, or the come down of an anxiety attack. Why do people crave it? It doesnt even taste nice and it doesnt really do the trick. So how do people get to the point where it ruines lives and causes arguments and makes you ill. What is the attraction? And dont even get me started on how much drunk people scare me, mainly men, because the men in my family while drunk are terrifying and on more than several occasions I have felt in danger around them. Not to say I havent also felt in much danger around the women, but with them it was more because of their words than because I thought they were going to hit me into next month.
So it kind of pisses me off when people get weird with me about myy dislike of drinking... I mean i dont mind people drinking... if I care about you I may ask you to not drink too much, but why is that a bad thing? And I sure as hell if I go to a party or something wont get all upity and like be all "can you pls not drink around me omg" Im at a fuckin party, im not an asshole... but I may well choose not to go to the party.
so yes, sorry for ranting.... but dad is drunk because hes sad...my brother is drinking...and I have a party to go to tomorrow... so ... fun...
