...

Hey yola
so
well when i came here i was freaking out
but vixx kind of calmed me down...
singing along to the instumental verson of g.r.8.u. is really calming :3

but yes
i am not okay
like
not
okay
like
was considering heavily killing myself, wrote a note
not okay
oh and intentionally cut where there are veins in my wrist
i hate doing that
it normally scares me
and addmitadly the ones that are the "right" way and are over veins and shallow as fuck and will fade to lines in a few days.. but like the point is i still did it and i never do. like never there.... up higher yeah...
all the time
-sigh-
i dont know what to do
i dont want to let everyone down again
but then
i also
really
really
really
dont
want
to
stay
on
this
course
and
i
dont
know
what
to
do
because
i
have
no
one
to
talk
to
help
me
i dont want to be a dissapointment or a burden or an annoyance
i dont want to cause trouble
i want to be invisible
i want everyone to just forget
but i keep fucking everything up
i cant even kill myself right
i just sit here in pain crying having panic attacks
wishing i wasnt breathings so that then it couldnt hurt anymore

why am i such a fuck up??
no one even really wants me
i dont want me
so whats the point

im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
imsorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
imsorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im soorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
imsoryy
im soorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry

okay
im sorry
fuck im sorry
i
im sorry
okay
pplease
please just dont
dont make
me

im sory
im a fuck up
a dissapointment
a fucking waist of space
i know
im sorry
im sorry
im so fucking sorry im sorry

god
i dont know
im sorry
night yola
fuck